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I 4004 
m45 

spy 1 



srays order *' DE ^VITT'S " Acting Plays. 




DE WITT'S ACTING" PLAYS 

(Number 288.) 




TWO ROSEIS. 



A COMEDY, 
IN THREE A.OT8. 



By JAMES ALBERY, 

Author of ''The Mate of the Montejoy," "Br. Davy," etc., etc. 



As First Performed at the VaudeviUe Theatre, London, under 

the Management of Messrs. Thorn and 

Montag"ue, June 4, 1880. 



TOGKTHEK WITH j 

A description ot the Co&tumes-Synopsisof the Piece -Cast ot the Chai-acters 
I ; —Entrances and Exita -Relative Positions of the Performers or I 

1 1 the Stage, and the whole of the Stage Business i 




|i r to - S r k : 

DE WITT, PUBLISHER. 

No. 33 Rose Street. 




NOW 
READY. 



( •^- A 

) PLAYS, A 

"S Plots, Cos 
^ tion, mail 



A COMPLETE DESCRIPTIVE CATALOGUE OF DE WITT'S ACTING 
AND DE WITT'S ETHIOPIAN AND COIVIIC DRAMAS, containing 
tume, Scenery, Time of Representation, and every other informac 
mailed free and post-paid. 



DE WITT'S ACTING PLAYS, 



Please notice that nearly all the Comedies, Farces and Comediettas in the foUowtng 
hst of Db Witt's Acting Plays" are very suitable for representation in small Amateur Thea- 
tres and on Parlor Stages, as they need but little extrinsic aid from complicated scenery or 
expensive costumes. They have attained their deserved popularity by their droll situations^ 
excellent plots, great humor and brilliant dialogues, no less than by the fact that they are the 
most perfect in every respect of any edition of plays ever published either in the United States 
or Europe, whether as regards purity of the text, accuracy and fulness of stage directions and 
ecenery, or elegance of typography and clearness of printing. 

*** In ordering please copy the figures at the commer«cement of each piece, which indicate 
the number of the piece in "De Witt's List of Acting Plays." 

IW Any of the following Plays sent, postage free, on receipt of price — 15 

cents each. 



jgg* The figure following the name of the Play denotes the number of 
Acts. The figures in the columns indicate the number of characters— M. male ; 
P. female. 



Adrienne, drama, 3 acts 7 

Anything for a Change, comedy, 1 3 
Apple Blossoms, comedy, 3 acts — 7 

Area Belle (The), farce, 1 act 3 

Atchi, comedietta, 1 act 3 

Aunt Charlotte's Maid, farce, 1 act. . 3 
Game of Cards (A), comedietta, 1 3 
Bardell vs. Pickwick, sketch, 1 act. 6 

Beautiful Forever, farce, 1 act 2 

Bells (The), drama, 3 acts 9 

Birthplace of Podgers, farce, 1 act.. 7 

Black Sheep, drama, 3 acts 7 

Blow for Blow, drama, 4 acts 11 

Bonnie Fish Wife, farce, 1 act 3 

Breach of Promise,, drama, 2 acts. . 5 
Broken-Hearted Club, comedietta, 1 4 
Cabman, No. 93, farce, 1 act. . . 

Caste, comedy, 3 acts 5 

Caus;ht by the Cuflf, farce, 1 act 4 

Cast" upon the World, drama, 5 acts. 10 
Catharine Howard, historical play, 

3 acts V ^2 

Charming pair, farce, 1 act. ; 4 

Checkmate, comedy, 2 acts 6 

Chevalier de St. George, drama, 3 9 
Chops of the Channel, farce, 1 act. 3 

Clouds, comedy, 4 acts 8 

Comical Countess, farce, 1 act 3 

Cupboard Love, farce, 1 act 2 

Cupid's Eye-Glass, comedy, 1 act... 1 

Cup of Tea, comedietta, 1 act 3 

Cut off with a Shilling, comedietta, 

1 act 2 

Cvrill's Success, comedy, 5 acts — 10 
Captain of the Watch (The), come- 
dietta, 1 act 4 

Daddy Gray, drama, 3 acts 8 

Dandelion's Dodges, f ar^ e, 1 act 4 

David ciarrick, comedy, 3 acts 8 

Dearest Mamma, comedietta, 1 act, 4 
Dearer than Life, drama, 3 acts — 6 

Deborah (Leah) drama, 3 acts 7 

Deerfoot, farce. 1 act 5 

Doing for the Best, drama, 2 acts. . 5 
Dollars and Cents, comedy, 3 acta. . 9 



2 2 
3 
1 
5 



No. 

21. 
186. 

47. 

13.. 

200. 

103. 

9. 

128. 
101. 

99. 
145. 
102. 

88. 

74. 

53. 



131. 

28. 

151. 

8. 

180. 

19. 

60. 
187. 
174. 

64. 
190 
191. 
197. 

18. 

116. 

129. 
159. 
122. 
177. 
100. 
139. 

17. 

86. 

72. 



Dreams, drama, 5 acts.... 6 

Duchess de la Valliere, play, 5 acts 

Easy Shaving, farce, 1 act 5 

Everybody's Friend, comedy, 3 acts. 6 

Estranged, an operetta, 1 act 2 

Faust and Marguerite, drama, 3 acts, 9 
Fearful Tragedy in the Seven Dials, 

interlude, 1 act 4 

Female Detective, drama, 3 acts.... 11 

Fernande, drama, 3 acts... 11 

Fifth Wheel, comedy, 3 acts. .-. 10 

First Love, comedy, 1 act 4 

Foiled, drama, 4 acts ~ . 9 

Founded on Facts, farce, 1 act.. . . 4 

Garrick Fever, farce, 1 act 7 

Gertrude's Money Box, farce, 1 act. 4 
Golden Fetter (Fettered), drama, 3 11 
Goose with the Golden Eggs, farce, s 

1 act 5 

Go to Putney, farce, 1 act 4 

Happy Pair, comedietta, 1 act 1 

Hard Case (A), farce, 1 act 2 

Henry Dunbar, drama, 4 acts 10 

Heniy the Fifth, historical play, 5 38 

He's a Lunatic, farce, 1 act 3 

Hidden Hand, drama, 4 acts 5 

His Own Enemy, farce, 1 act 4 

Home, comedy, 3 acts 4 

Household Fairy, sketch, 1 act 1 

Hunting the Slipper, farce, 1 act 4 

High C, comedietta, 1 act 4 

Hunchback (The), play, 5 acts 14 

If I Had a Thousand a Year, farce, 

1 act 4 

I'm Not Mesilf at All, original Irish 

stew, 1 act 3 

In for a Holiday, farce, 1 act 2 

In the Wrong House, farce, 1 act. . . 4 

Isabella Orsiiii, drama, 4 acts 11 

I Sha'l Invite the Major, comedy, 1 4 

Jack Long, drama, 2 acts 9 

Joy is Dangerous, comedy, 2 acts. . . 3 
Kind to a Fault, comedy, 2 acts. . . . 6 

Lady of Lyons, play, 5 acts 12 

Lame Excuse, farce, 1 act 4 



3 
6 4 



^ 



TWO llObES. 



% Com^bg, 



IN THREE ACTS. 



By JAMES ALBERT, 

Author of " T7i< Male of Die Montjnye " ( T. P. Cookt Piize Drama), '♦ Dr. Davy " {M. 
MeltsviUe's " SulUvan," adapted)," etc., etc. 



A8 FIRST PERFORMED AT THE VAUDEVILLE THEATRE, LONDON, 

UNDER UHE MANAGEMENT OF ME-SRS. JAMES THORNE, 

AND MONTAGUE, ON SATURDAY, JUNE 4ih, 1S70. 



xo wmoa is added 



DBSCBIPTION OF THE COSTUMES — CAST OF THE CHARACTERS BK- 

TKANCES AND EXITS — UELATIVE POSITIONS OF THE PER- 
FORMERS ON THE STAGE, ANli THE WHOLE 
OF THE STAGE BUSINESS. 



NEW YORK: 

EGBERT M. DE WITT, PTJBLISHEE, 

No. 33 Rose Stbext. 



lS7- 



.^\\'+£•Ts 



TWO ROSEfl. 



CAST OF CHARACTERS. 

Vaudeville Theatre, Wallack's Theatre, New 
London, June 4, 1870. York, Oct. 10, 1870, 

Jack Wyatt Mr. H.J. Montague. Mr. Geo. H. Clarke, 

•Caleb Deecie (his Friend— blind) Mr. T. Throne. Mr. Owen Marloave. 

: Digby Grant, Esq Mr. H. Irving. Mr. Charles Fisher. 

I Our Mr. Jenkins Mr. George Honey. Mr. J. H. Stoddard. 

Mr. Fumival Mr. W. H. Stephens. Mr. M. Lanagan. 

Robert Mr. Quigley, 

James Mr. Peck. 

Lottie Miss Amy Fawsitt. Miss Effie Germon. 

Ida Miss A. Newton. Mrs. Thomas Barry, 

Mrs. Jenkins Miss T. La vis. Mrs. E. Mestayer. 

Mrs. Cupps Miss Phillips. Mrs. John Sefton. 



TIME OP PLAYING— ONE HOUR AND A QUARTER. 



S CENER 7 ( English , present day. ) 
ACT L — (No change). Interior, sitting-room in a dwelling house, in 3d groove*. 

Garden on flat at back. 




Papered wall. Framed engravings ou wall. Portraits, framed, on flat. Large 
window with lattice sashes opening horizontally ; on. sill outside, two rose trees 
in pots, one white, the other red. Carpet down ; a rug under pi.mostocl, l. 1 e., 
and betore tireplace, i;. Ornaments on mantel-piece, vases, clock. Chintz imigings to 
windows, same as the furniture is covered wi-lh. A, cupboard or cabinet, with disii- 
08, ch'.na, wine-bottles, glasses, boxes of cigars in it. B, card table with chess-board 
on it. C, large table, with books, papers, writing materials, blotting-paper on it, 
D, arm-chair. £, small work-table, on which is a hand sewing-machine. F,.a sm&U 
piano ; muBio in sheets on it. G, large sofk. 

QiFT 

EST. OF J H. CORNiNG 
JUNE 20. 1940 



TWO ROSE •. 3 

ACT II. -(No change). Interior, sittin^^-room in dwelling house, in 3cl grooves. 

— : :"':": t~^- 

- A J. 

I>«or. Window. 



-Jl 



Window. 



Door. 



s II 



^ : Table and Chairs. 

J (Fireplace. * \ \* 

^ : *\ :* 

r-x j * : 

« —I ;— . 



Closed in. Curtains to windows, not caught up, so that they can be used lor cover- 
ing persons in hiding behind them. A, a piano, with stool. B, a harmonium, with 
chair. C, a iimali table, uu wiiich is a viuliu and bow, and a ciieque under glass 
sliade. Two framjd oil paints oa flat, portraits, in dress of 1840, a man and a wo- 
man. Pictuies oa ii it, l. 2 k. set, a picture ot a red rose and a white rose, small, in 
ueaL gilt iramc. D, a wiiting-vlesk or secretary, with writing m itoriald inside. 

ACT 111.- (I,'o cli..ngc). Villa front and gardens in 4'.h grooves. Tre-.- borders. 
Sky sink. Suiiligi-v olfi-ct. View on flat of garden with yrav,'! wiik. 1.. 2 e. from 
wing lo wiug, a sLiq) oi white cloth leitered in red, '• Wklcom^," ihj back to the 
stage. The villa Iruvit is set in k. 1 and 2 --.'s, with glasi doov<, open ; discovering a 
piano w thin, carpji down. Oa stage, cloth dowa, representing ground, with red 
gravel down in tac supposed w.ilks, but irregularly strewn about as if trodden out 
of the exact limi:s. Flower bushes of all kinds, u. and L. C, a stone vase, five feet 
high, with basiu top, in wliich are supposed to be gold fish ; shells and aquatic plants 
in the basin. Each side of doorway, u. I e., a jardiniere or flower-pot tripod, on 
which are rose trees in bloom, the same as in Act L, but in cliin a flower-pot covers, 
(iarden funiiture ; table and chairs, L. front ; chairs up c. iiii^j b lore doorway, h. 



COSTUMES (English, present day ) 

Jack Wyatt.— .lei /.—Walking-dress, neat and plain, straw hat ; enters with an 
anglers basket susaeaJj.l from his shoulders by a strap. Act i/.— -Walking- 
dress, black co.it, hi^'ii black hat. Act III. — Neat walking suit. 

DiGBY Grant. — Pom ous, p itronizing and swindling ia his mauuers. Aged about 
forty-five, somewhat bald. Act /.—Side whiskers, moustache and hair worn 
carelessly. Gold-laced smoking-cap, black coat, gray pants, red pocket-hand- 
kerchief. Act 11. -Hair, moustache and whiskers carefully oiled and arranged ; 
gold eye-glass. Handsome suit of black, white vest, black higli hat. Act HI.— 
White vest, gold watch-chain ; light trousers, eye-glass, black coat. Limpa 
with one leg as if he had the gout, and uses cane. 

Jenkins.— Side-whiskers, hair parted carelessly in Act I. In Act II., whiskers and 
hair, which is longer, are trimmed and arranged more " seriously." In Act HI., 



4 TWO ROSES. 

hair is long, and -vrhiskers are brought to a point each side like «* pet " clergy- 
men's, as seen in illustratious ot such in Trolloptj's cicncal novels, and 
similar stones ot tavorite curates. Acl J. -Cutaway-cja:. and rest of suit 
of mixed tweed, bound with laucy coiuroii binding, lu *• dry -goods drummer " 
style ; bright colored neck-scarf, black felt hal, worn jauntily. Ad 7/.— bober 
dress, dark colors and sedate cut. Act ///-Long black coat, buttoned up to 
throat, black pants, white neck-cloth, subdued expression ot counienance. with 
occasional relapses mto winks and other signs ot huuioi 

Caleb Deeoie -Blind. (The painfulness ot the affliction will be lessened to the 
Audience 11 spectacles are worn instead of the eyes being sealed at the lids ; He 
always carries a cane, which lie uses to feel his way Act 1 —Low-crown felt hat 
to match in color witli his dress, a tweed walking-suit, cane. Act // — Dafk 
suit, black short-skuted coat, cuno as befoi-e. Act III. - Light vest, low-crown 
felt bat, sliort-skirted coat. 

Mr. Fcrnital. -A lawyer In black, witli black gloves. <«4c«/.— With umbrella m 
glazed case. Carries law-papers bound with red tape, eye-glass 

Policemen.— English policemen (see Illustrated London News or TjTnes, any picture 
of a public gathering or procession, for costume), helmet, white gloves. 

Countrymen and Bots.— Some Plodghboys with smock frocks. 

Two FooT.MEN.— I'ed breeches, blue coats. 

GcEsrs at Fete Champetre in Act ///—Various. 

Lottie.- Airy, bright and animated, very girlish Act /.—Dress of color to suit. 
same as Ida's. The two to resemble each other iii all possible ways, but one is 
fair, and the other dark. Ac //.-Dress trimmed with the color of Ida* dress 
Act ///. -Walking-dress. In Act / , for second entrance, hat 

IttA.—Act I. —Same as Lottie's Act //.— Dre.ss trimmed with the color of Lottie's 
dress. Act ///.-Walking-dress. In Act /., for second entrance, hat and lace 
fichu. 

Mrs. Jenkins.— -4d //.—Cap, apron, light dress, "strong-minded" look, roice -and 
manner ; false front of haii- Act III. -Walking-dress, -white bonnet. 

Mrs. Cdpp.s.— Walking-dress, shawl, bonnet. 

OOKBTB.— Walking-dresses, countryfied. 



rnopEuTiES. 

"i-CT /.-Papers, books, writing matcrialson table : banknote for Mrs. Cupps : check- 
book : wine-bottles, glasses, corkscrew, in cupboard, r. d. corner ; black japan- 
ned cloth forming a wrapper for samples of dry-goods, as roll of red flannel, nie'4| 
rino shirt, ladies' stocking.s, ribbons, laces, for Jenkins to enter with; cigars ii^ 
case for Jenkins ; sawing to be worked with sewing-machine : for Jenkins, on 
his second entrance, a wine-bottle wrapped in paper, and some paper bags of 
biscuits, etc. Act II. : Music tor piano and harmonium ; samples of drygooda' 
on mantel-shelf : vases -. cigars ; ash-dish ; pipe : tobacco-box : china breakfast 
service for two on tablo ; dark colored table-cloth on same ; glass shade over 
cheque on table, i-. 1 e. ; newspaper; brown wrapping paper ; some red tape : 
■writing materials in writing-case, l. 2 e. ; law papers for Furnival; black va- 
lise, same as in Act I. ; half-dozen silve fork.4 in brown paper, brought on by 
LoTTia ; lamp or candle in stick, to burn. Act III. : Decanter, glasses, trays of 
ice cream, cakes ; croquet mallet ; cigars in case for Fdunival ; valise and law- 
papers as before. 

[For iS>/nojj$is see 2)(ige 38 and 39.] 



TWO ROSES 



ACT I. 

SCENE. — Interior in Zd grooves. Room in Mr. Grant's house. 

Discover Dioby Grant seated k, side of table, up r. c, reading letter*. 

Grant {reading). " Mr. Jenkins hopes to liave the pleasure of calling 
wpoii Diizby Grant. Esquire" Ahem! Yes, yes (hums io himself as he 
reads, unintelligibly) Hum, hum — the favor — yes — ah ! luim ! Well, I 
am S'ati of that. I fi.id liis samples lelt here very useful, {knock d. p.) 
Ah 1 come in ! 

Enter, d. p., Mrs. Cuffs, tvith an angry look. 

Grant. Ah, it's Mrs. Cupps, is It 1 how do you do ? 
Mrs. Cupps. I have called for my liitle hill, Mr. Grant. 
Grant {seatching among papers before htm). 1 am glad to hear it, Mrs, 
Cupps ; I fe/ired you had called for the money ! 
Mrs C. Bu: I won't hiive you in my debt. 

Grant {coolly). Very likely not. But 1 ; hall re^ist that. So long as 
ir;ides-peo|)lp moan lo rob me, I shall mean Lo keep in their debt. 
Mrs. C. I have noL lobbed you, nnd you can't help paying me. 
Grant {dimly) I fear that I can't, he\> owing y«»u. 
Mrs. C. This is most shameful ! {sinks info chair, l. side of table.) 
Grant. Mr . Cupps, you cannot be expected lo understand the feel- 
iniis ot a sent eman. 

Mrs C. Y'Ui dischirf/ed your beer-l)ill at the Brnz.-n Face. 
Grant. Truly 1 did. I cainiot lemain in the debt of .i low poiman. 
But this is a vfrv dSfFe-^tu ihrnij ! You have trusted me, I don't dis- 
t.ute your bill — niv, I jicknowlpdjie your account, ihouiih I have not 
lookrd at it. 1 <Io noi nsk >o much per cent to be taken off, like a com- 
mon c;id, I iiavc sa d i! at I will ;,ttPivd to it, ai.d if you look in upon 
me — som time — next year — 1 will att- nd to it. 

Mrs. C. This is all very fine, but I want ray money, or I shall know 
ilie re.i on »vt,y. 
Grant. You shall know the reason why 1 I have not ^oi it. 
Mrs. C. Poo) ! you mu>t have relatiotis. 
Grant. Mv family has l-een exhausted these many months. 
Mrs. C Som.^ one of whom you might borrow ? 
Grant. Ti.ere are numbeis of whom I might borrow — but, unhappily, 
they might not lend. 
Mrs. C. Old friends'? 
Grakt. So old that they were worn out long ago. 



6 IWO B0SE3. 

Mrs. C. You must find it. 

Grant. Most Hue ; but the question arises, Where ? 

Mrs. C. {rises). I don't care. 1 will have my money, and it don't 
signify. 

Grant. If it don't .^ignily, wliy not wnit? 

Mrs. C {curtly). Good-morning! {goes to d. f.) 

Grant. Good-morning, Mrs. Cupps. Stay! (Mrs. Cupps coimb 
down) You shall be paid, {rises) Yes. I'll do it! {mysteriously.) 

Mrs. C. You'll do — whatl [ahirmed.) 

Grant. No ! lliis room is not such as I have been accustomed to. I 
do not hold tiie position which 1 once pos.sessed, but I will preserve 
this still as the abode of honor {beats his breast) and innocence, (tear- 
fidly) I am a broken gentleman, but I have two fair daughters— two 
roses, as my worthy but plebeian friend John Wyatt, calls them— one 
while, the other red. Their home — this spot — shall not be polluted by 
the treid of a broker, {jiaces down to r. front, and up r. c. again, poinp- 
oushj) Yes — 1 will do.it ! 

Mrs. C. {alarmed). Dear me ! do what ? 

Gkant. 1 will sacrifice myself 

Mrs. G. You won't kill yourself? 

Grant. No; I will only slay my pride, {mysteriously) There is a lady 
who has we;ilth — I do not love her — but she would accept me in mar- 
riage — and— you shall be paid. Not for my sake— but for yours — for 
rav daughters' sakes. 

Mrs. C. {softly). I can wait a little lon<jer, since I have waited so 
long. 

Grant. No, you shall not wait, Mrs. Cupps, you shall not ! She is 
not a fair woman ! she has not your comely figure, Mrs. Cupps, she has 
not your sweet .^mile— your tender voice 

Mrs. C. Do you think I have a tender voice, Mr. Grant 1 

Grant. SUe cannot have a deep soliciiude for my dauohters, such as 
you have shown. But she has wealth, and she will lend me twenty 
p,,uiiils — and vou will be paid; you will be paid! {tvalks about b. and 
11. c.) 

Mrs. C. Bui 1 can wait. 

Grant No no ! 

Mrs. C. 1 can do very well without the account. (Grant seats himself 
as before, oyituted) And I could lend you twenty pounds, Mr. Grant. 

G*ant {with (motion) Mrs. Cupps, th— llr.nk yon! there spoke a 
true woman's heait ! P.irdon ni — 1 cuuiotexpies ulia; I feel towards 
you but. you hive eari.ed Ihe izraiiiudo of— o' — {voice breaks. He pulls 
out (indfionrishis a red handkerchief) But you shou d not see me in te-irs. 
{choked voice) Leave me, leave me ! I wouki not have you see my emp- 
tio:i. {buries h s face vi the handkerchief) Leave me, and bring the 
mo'if>v ! 

Mrs. C. I will. Mr. Gr.mt. I will ! Good-bye. {goesiip to n. f.) 

Grant {rises). I ;un not able to exp e-s what I feel. Ailow xxx^, dear 
Mrs. Cupps, allow me. {opens d. f . <vd bows Mrs. Cuffs of n. f. Goes 

R., aside) D d silly woman! {gtts bottle of wine out of cupboard, or 

cabinet, K. D. corner) 

Enter, R. u- E , remaining outsid'' at wiadow, bending over the rose-trees there, 
Ida "«'/ Lottie. 
Lottie. Mine hns most. 

Ida. No, mine, {they count together in a subd'ied voice) One, two, etc. 
Grant (aside). What's that ? what are tliey counti?ig ? Not money, 

I'll be bound. 



A.CX I. I 

Lot. One. two, {quickly) three, ten, twenty, forty, fifty. One, two — 
but I like the perliiine of yours b^'st, Ida. Let's smelL. 

Ida. I ihink mine's sweetest, {(hey bend over the flowers at the same 
iimfi, each having an arm round the waist of the other.) 

Grant. Two Roses! Ah, it almost reconciles one to the burden of 
supporting them. 

Enter^ d. v., from r., Ida and Lottib, 

Grant. Well, my darlings, \Yhere have you been 1 

Ida. To the rectory, playing croquet, with a lot of Buch pretty girls. 

(c.) 

Grant. But none so pretty as you. 

Lot. You know Ida despises flattery. 

Geant. She is the first woman to say so. {to Lottie, seated r., mth 
h-r on footstool beside him) Did you play croquet, too ? 

Lot. {tear fully). Yes, pa. 

Grant. Ah, you have been crying? 

Lot. Yes, pa. 

Grant. "What fori 

Lot. Bpcfinse I wanted to, pa. 

Grant. And so you cried ? (Ida, l., looks a. $ewing, ^.) Ah, where's 
your rinor i 

Lot. Jack's got it 

Grant. You lia-ve not quarrelled ? 

Lot. Yes ; and I never want to see him again ! 

Ida. No more do I. 

Grant {impatiently). But what has he done \ 

Ida. He took the iii)eriy of sending us two Jichui! 

(jRAUT {mi'strjkmt/). Two fi-i. -hooks'? {puzzled) Oh! a suggestion that 
you weio anglinsr f^v a lover — sweetheart-hunting. 

Lot. No, no! fi luis — U) weir — biack lace things. 

Ida. So we .sonr ihem back to him, with word that if we weren't 
dressed well onougli to go out with him without them, we wouldn't go 
at all. 

Grant Wlmt did he say ? 

Lot. He wrote to say that we were a couple of little hasty 

Grant. Eh. what? 

Lot. I menn hasty things, and ought to be condemned to the torture 
of tight izl"ves. 

Ida. I w. n'r, be called hnsty! 

Lot, No nio-e will i. So I a^ked for my letters back. 

Grant. D d ^ on grt tliem ? 

Lot. Yes ; {^obbii'g< lie .sent them. Oli, much h*- ever cared for mo! 

Ida nud Lot. [loiiethcr). So we will not see liim again' (r.) 

Grant. Mv ciildren, ttiis must not be. Mr. Wyatt is a rising man, 
and is not to l»i« resuMinced so ensilv. I liive only the forty pounds a 
year from ' onr poor dfar mother's stingy brothers. This mus! not bp, I 
tell yon, Loiti''! 1 w;.nt you to be settled — tor once you are oti my 
hands, vou will be able to get a home for your sister. Sit down, now, 
;ind write to .Mr. Wy.iit as I dictUe. 

Ida. I Wouldn't apologize ! 

Grant. Ida, you forget yourself! (Lottie takesaeat r. of table, Grant 
goes up c. and sits on sofa, L. Ida r., front.) 

Ida. He ought to beg your pardon ! 

Grant. How dare you ? Don't spoil your prospects. Now for the 
usual beginning : " My dear Mr. Wyatt." 



8 TWO BOSES. 

Lot. Why, I abvays say : " My own dearest Jack I " 
Grant. Well, you cnn put it : " My dear Jack." 

Lot. (writes). " My dear Jack : I am very sorry I was so hasty "^ 

Ida. " Bill you !;ave deeply wounded my pride " 

Grant. '" And fb lings, connected, as 1 am, with a noble family." 
Lot. -Nol/ie iamily. You know I love you very dearly,"' — I'll under- 
line 'Move you very dearly." Oh, dear, iL'.s all underlines! I'll put 
tuo lines under '• love you very dearly ! " " Do come and see me soon." 
I'll underline " soon." 

Ida. Sinn it " Your affectionate Lottie ! " (up r.) 
Lot. " Your aff ciion iie Lottie." There ! I'm so glad it is done. . 
Ida {hend out of window in f ). Oh, don't blot it ! Here's Caleb coming^] 
perhaj-s lies got a letter from Jack ! {comes down r. c.) Let's be quiet/ 
and see if he can find us. (Grant i.<i on sofa. Lottie <tnd Ida go up r.) 

Enter, D. F., Caleb Dekcie, coming doicn l. to c. front. 

DEFCtE. How d'ye do? Whatt no one heie 1 I think thei-e is some 
one here, ihou^ih. It's a sly puss — poor little puss — and a pretty puss, 
loo. Di» 1 not hear Mr. Grant's j)'easant brpathing. or is it only a pig 
in the load? No one here ! I think 1 had better not remain, {going tip 
R., hut I PA com s to him.) 

Ida {ill II rough voice). What do you wnntl 

Dee. {phnj fully). Wliat, is it as bad as tliat 7 Do you bite as well as 



sn;ip 



Lot. {coming dowri). What do you want here ? 

Dee. Oil! you too? 1 knew you WM-e both here. 

Ida. Knew it! I am ueiiing frishtened. How did you know it? 

Dee. Its a !2' eat secret. 

Ida. I ra aetting curious. 

Dee. That's a gieit fault, and I will punish you. 

Ida. N • ; 1 will be patient. 

Dee. Tiiai's a great vinue, and I will reward you. I will tell yo 
how I krew you were hidini: — 1 heard you say so! 

Ida. Heard me'-' No, you couldn't hear what we said. Besides 
didn't sprak 'end? 

Dee. Buf. 1 d d. Yon had your head out of the window, and the 
wind was deud in my fu;e.* 

Ida. Oh, Ikjw thoughtless [ am! 

Der. T at's what 1 said to Jack. 

Ida. You've no business to talk 

Dei;. We 1, not b-ing a woman, that is infringinn on your privilege. 

Lot. (ml Ida (to(/ch-''-\ U you must talk, talk of somebody else. 

Dee. So we<lid-*'f Lohe! 

Lot, Til nnr, be edied tnoughtless I 

Di-.E. Only be so. 

Ida. Tnat s enough, sir ! Yon can go. 

Dee. Very u oi). B^t shan't I take the letter for Jack ! 

Ida. Oh. what a wre' ch ! I am so frightened ! 

Lot. You couldn't have heard tliatl '^ 

Dee. No. 

Ida. How did you know, then ? 

Grant (up c. on sofa.) 
*Ida. Debcie. Lottie. 

B.C. c. L.C. 



I 



ACT I. » 

Dee. I didn't know, I guessed it, I knew you were women. I have 
somelhins; for you, Lottie ; wliat will you orive me for that? 

Lot. a rose off ray ti'ee ! {t'uns up to window in p.) 

Ida {quickly). And I'll give you one of iniue. {runs up to window, and 
ihe and Lottie bring each a rose down c. Ida on Deecie's left, Lottib 
on hts right, oil fit c ) 

Ida. Which will you have ? 

Dke. Louie's. (Ida is momentarily vexed) To give Jack ! (Ida smiles 
again) Tnis is not Lottie's ; {takes roses) ihis is Lottie's, {holds one to his 
nose, but holding Lottie s hand) Tliis is not Lottie's handl 

Lot. Yes it is. 

Dee Where's Jack's ring ? (Lottie sobs) Oh, I did not know it was 
so bad as that! There, {gives Lottie a note) I won't tease you any 
more! 

Ida. Let's go into the sarden. 

Lot. And feed the rabbits. 

Dee. Have they grown 1 

Ida. Yes, but Caleb's the biggest. Lottie's and Jack's are together. 
{goes to R. 1 E. vnth Dercie ) 

Lot. Don't foruet Jack's. 

Dee. I'll not forset. 

Grant {rises). Ah, he's in safe hands, in yours, Mr. Deecie ! 

Dee. How do you do, sir 1 {to Ida) And so Caleb frightened you very 
rauch ! 

[Exit, R. E., Ida pushing him off playfully. Ida crosses to piano, h. 

Grant {comes down). Let's hear the letter. You are sure Caleb is not 
listenine? 

Ida. Caleb can't do anything that's mean ! 

Grant. Hem! What is there so pleasant in Mr. Wyatt's note, 
Lottie ? 

Lot. {smiling). Oh, Jack says he has been very wrong— it was all his 
fault — and asks to bo forgiven, {smted at table as before) I will write a 
fresh note, and ask hnn to forgive me ! 

Grant. Ceiiainly not, I Write: " My dear Mr. Wyatt " 

Lot. {repfnting an she lorites). " My dear Mr. Wyatt : I do not cherish 
resentment " 

Grant. '•■ I liave been taught not to cherish resentment I " 

Lot. Bless his dear heart ! 

Ida. " Come as soon as pos.'^ible ; you are forgiven ! " 

Lot. {repents). " Come as soon as possible; you are forgiven ! YovLt 
own hr;ive und " 

Ida. No, no ! '■ Yours sincerely." 

Lot {pouts). 'Yours sinceselv, Lottie ! " 

Ida. No ! " Charlotte Dieby Grant ! " {goes up.) 

Lot. "Charlotte Digl>y Grant." Then-; oh dear! {hnock,-D.r) 

Grant. Come in ! 

Ehte>\ D. p., Jenkins, with parcel. 

Jenkins. Is anybody here 1 {puts parcel on table, and shakes handi ^ith 
Grant.) 

Ida nnd Lot. {together). It's our Mr. Jenkins ! How do you do 1 

Jenk. I'm capital! Did Jack Scott advise you 7 

Grant Yes ; I got your letter. 

Jenk. Yes; Jack knows I often come here, and he thinks )*'« a 
good joke to advise rae. {puts bottle on table) I met a fellow as I came 
along who gave me a sample of sherry 



1 



10 TWO ROSES. 

Ida Yom always bring pa a bottle of wine. 

L )T { S'dt to Ida). 1 believe he buys them. 

li)\ {i<> Lottie). Pa is so fond of wine, (Jenkins opens parcel.) 

GitANT. Have you done a fjood husine>s ? 

Jknks Toi-lof. Bui there's not many rocks to be pulled in. Stone 
V7 1S i).^fore me ou t.io loul. But I cut Stone out. He lias a trap— fine 
t.nn,' U) catch people, n Lrap! You see you only have to pay for the 
l.orse. luen, oil ti)>' r"a<i — the man goes for nothing 1 have a few 
samples lefL, will \ou allow me (l. of t/iole.) 

GitANT. C-^rtaialy ! («»/« r. of table. Lottie and Ida up by window 
in F,) . 

Junk Some flannels, {he shows the contents of parcel as he speaks) Do 
you ii)tice any change in me 1 

Gkant Ni>! 

Jeniv {pnUing cloth). Durable* Don't I look out of fashion 1 

GliANT \N\\s'f 

Jeniv Siiowing cloth — thoroughly 5>hrnnk ! 

Grant You iiiven'c got into difficulties — don't be down-hearted I a 
m m cm b • c leerful even deep in debt ! 

Jbnk. N'): ! a'u goingf to get married ! 

Ida an I Lmt {'ogether). Oh, we must see our Mrs. Jenkins i 

.Iknic Y Ml shall ! you shall ! 

Grant is the luly young? 

Jk.\k I never askeil ! i never encourage falsehoods ! 

GicA.NT. G loil-Iooking, no doubt ? 

Jexk. {duhioish/). Hum! tastes differ! {pulling a pair of drawers) 
W.'ii III idi» in ih'> Ip2^ ! 

GliANT. Maiil -ii lady 7 

Jknk No; widow I {^idling cloth) Very elastic I 

GiJANT. A' IV f imily 1 

Jrnmc. x\ .!" 

GiiANT ('j/"'< his hand). Let me congratulate you! I hope the lady is 
well • 

Jexk S le was the list time I saw her. But I hear that she has: a 
sli^h'. accideiiL— fell down stairs and hurt herself — from top to bottom ! 
Yini'll let me le.ive these 1 

Grant. We'll niak;» go;)d use of them, 1 dares sy, ihank'ee, 

Jenk, You'll come to the welding? It will be a jolly atfair. There's 
Dick Cierrv, of Gravel and Sands, and old Leathers, who travels in 
b,)<>ts 

Lot. In boots ! Why, wh 't would you have him travel in 1 {laugh- 
ingly.) 

Jenk. {seriousl /). I want him to come to our house, and travel in 
sock-; and hose, an I some pieces of flannel. 

Ida. Very odd 

Jenk, Yes ; it's always odd pieces we take out with us Then there's 
II 'II Fowler, he travels in feather.^. 

Grant. And tnr ? 

JiiNK. {seriously). No! {ihought fully) There's no one on the road who 
navels in tar and feathers. 

InA All, not <>n the road — on the rail, perhaps. 

Jknk Ah, I see ! oh, ho, ho, ho! {laughs.) 

L )T {to Ida). I do believe Jack is wailing at the corner outside, {she 
imt Ida look out of window in f ) 

Jknk, Tiie country's looking blooming — all the blossoms out. I see 
your ro.s.'s : re at work 

Lot. Ye,s; ;jI overtime. Tw« thousand petals employed. 



ACT 1. 11 

Jbnk. Ah, they're under two landlords! 

Grant. Landladies. 

Lot. They're rivals ! Did you never hear of the War of the Roses? 

Jenk. No ! but I have heard of the Loves of the Plants. 

Enter, r. 1 e., Deecie. 

Ida. All, that's in pictures ! 

Dee. That would be a drawn batile ! 

Lot. Oh, Ida, sound the alarm ! (Ida rinps hand-bell on table, l. front.)* 

Jenk. Come in ! What's the matter '? 

Ida. Wonderful! Caleb's made a pun ! 

Jenk. How do you do, Mr. Deecie 1 

Dee. So you have got back your samples — case is heavy J 

Jknk. Eh ? How do you know 1 

Dee. Everybody is so pleased around you, that's all I {goes up to exit, 

D. F ) 

Lot. {to Deecie). Yo<i'll give Jack the letter ? 

Dee. And the rose, {ot d. p.) 

Jrnk. {laughing). You should have a little dog. {all are quiet.) 

Ida. Oh! 

Dre. {calmly'). Never mitid, Ida, if I can't see the joke I can /<?<?/ it! 

Jenk. I beij your pardon! Upon my word 1 didn't mean to hurt 
you. I wouldn't hurt, ihe feelings of a parrot ! 

Dek. Very well ; I have heard of you; {shakes hands with Jenkins) I 
know you aie a jolly orood fellow! 

Jenk How do yon know that? 

Dee. By your sample-case I [Exit, d. f. 

Lot. Now I shall see Jack in a minute ! 

Ii>A. Do lestrain yourself, Lottie ! {h- front.) 

Grant {to Jenkins). Sit down ! {they drink wine together.) 

Ida Let's '^ir. down and be at work! 

J ENK [lo Grant). Wliat's all that row about 1 (Lottie and Ida sit by 
t'.ble jcivit L., I'D h. playing piano. Lottie using sewing-machine.) 

Enter, d f., Jack Wyatt rtM<i Deecie. 

Jack (salutes all) How do you do*? (to Jenkins) There's no need to 
ask you how yon a e — von look iiearty. i can tell you of a new line! 

Jenk (ea(/rrli/). Where 1 

. ACK. In ill- niiil -st eain ! (gives his Jish-b'isket ilo JENKINS, who shows 
it to Grant, up r. c.) 

Grant. Trout I Two beauties ! 

Lot. {to Ida) May I look up 7 

Ida. No, not yet, ! 

Jack, (i/'st^/i? Lottie). Anil fofjiven • 

Lot. If yon irouiise to do .so never again ! 

Jack {seated beside Lottie). As I have not done anything, I cheerfully 
promise not to repeat the t)ff">nce ! 

Lot. 01"), my own dear darhng Jack I (embraces Jack) you said the 
fan it was yours ! 

Jack. Yes; you are mine! 

Lot. You wrote that you were in the wrong. 

♦Grant, Jenkins. 

Debgis. Ida, 

LOTTIB. 



12 TWO KOSES. 

Jack. Yes, I was wrong when I wrote. 

Lot. Aren't your letters true 1 

Jack. As your mind— true as the camera, yet that distorts everything 
— women ;ue very like llie lens. 

Lot. Now he is Inugl ing at us ! 

Jack. I protest 

Lot. You shan't make fun of Ida ! 

Ida. No. nor of Lottie ! 

Jack. You are not to be pulled to pieces, you two roses. I declare, 
to put it as Mr. Jenkins would say, you look as if you travelled for 
Flora, and fed on your samples! The one as red as June and Jul 
blended ; the other lair as maiden's fancies in a dream ! Unlike i 
all. and yet alike in this — they are two roses ! 

Lot Is that jour own 1 

Jack [laughs). No ; Caleb's ! 

Ida. Caleb is wonderfully clever! 

Grant {to Jenkins, seated at table r. c). I say, Mr. Jenkins, what do 
you Lhink of this — good "r I like dry sherry. 

Jknk. Do you rea:ly? Singular! I know a fellow who promised me 
a boitle of sherry he had left over ! 

Dee. Ida, will you have a game % (gets chessmen ready, up R.) 

Jf.nk. [lo Grant). Can he play chess ? 

Grant. Ye.s, and well, too ! 

Jenk. I can'L ! 

Gkant. It's diy woik !* 

Dke. I'll move fiist. Pawn to king's pawn ! 

Ida {jnovis the chessmen). Pawn to king's second I 

Lot. Oil, I've piicked my finder! 

Jack (^//i■e.s Lottie's A"«fl?). Poor little hand I Is it better now 1 

Lot. Y>^-es I [looks fondly into Jack's eyes ) 

Dee. Kniuht to king's third ! 

Jknk. Ii's veiy wonderful ! [he and Grant amoke cigars.) 

Lot. (o Jack). D) you thiitk you could work it 1 

Jack. Here you have uvo bits of stuffs — I'll bind them together. This 
is Loiiie'.s — his is Jack's ! 

Dee. Bishop takes pawn. 

Ida, Pawn takes knight. 

Dee. Stop ! if vou do that you'll lose the game in two moves i 

Lot. [fo Jack). Now, sail in if 

Jack. Eh .' * 

Lot. r h'jirned it of the boys; I ara so happy, to-day, that I feel I 
musi .s;iy or d> som thins wicked ! 

Jack. So fek Mother Eve when she went on the Serpentine adven- 
\ ure ! 

Jenk. [comes dntvn). Great thing — the se.wiiiCT-machine ! 

Jack 1 declaie to you. Mr. Jenkins, this little invention is an. epitome 
of the woi'.d's history ! In a thou and workrooms ihis little machine is 
weavintT a story which will live lo ig ;.fter ihe brightest pige of Claren- 
don or M.iciulay ! 

Jenk. I never heard of them ; what's their line ] 

Jack. Refiners, [smiles] 

Jenk. Who travels for them '? 



I 



Dekcib.* : table.: *Ida. Grant.* : tab e. : *Jknkins. Lottik.* ; table.: *Jack. 
;^ t In English slang this expression is " wire in I " 



A.CT I. 18 

Jack. Old Father Time ! 

Jknk. [f/oes up to Grant). 1 say, is he chaffing me 1 

Lot. Let. us .-^ee, sir, if you have done \ our work well ! {tears cloth 
asnndtr) Oil deni ! 

Jack. Is it, an omen 1 

L-)T. No. Jack! noUiing shall separate us! It was all my fault I 1 
am verv nauLility ' 

Jack Noi at all ! 

Lot. Ye\s! Don't reproach me I L'^t me be quiet! 1 feel that 1 

WUMI to C!'V I 

Jknk {lo Grant). So you mem. t<> c-hh,'' to the weddinc % 

Gr.ant [brtuys Jenkins gowh c — conJidefdrnUy). I respect you, Mr, 
J nkiiis, and i don't, see why 1 vsliouldn't confide in you. My income is 
not urea', indeed, is limited, and what 1 Lave I spend upon iny de;ir 
chil Iren. I would be most happy to j^o to the ceremony, Inu I have no 
suitable at)parel. 

Jknk. Is thnt all ? I've got some sani])Ie.'?, for Moses — not E. Moses 
& Sons hut Oikcy Moses — there's one suit will just fit you! 

(jii{ANT. Thanks, thanks ! You know I would do anything to oblije 
my friends, {(foei up r. q.) 

Jenk. {/o Jack, nsidt). I say, who's your tailor 1 No, no I it ain't a 
-joke Who's your tailor 1 

Jack. Fro^;.tt in the Hioli Street. 

Jenk. Froooje in the Hiali Street? All ri^ht. {goes up, nloud) I'll be 
b.ick in ;tn insia ii ; I am going for the samples. [Exit. d. f. 

Dkk. Mate ! 

IfiA. Von al\\a\s win. 

Dkk. With \\\y castle, ha, ha 

Jack. L -tti.^ it .seems to me that life is as a clothirii; — to tlie rouiz'i 
and vulg!!-, it is a leather jeikin. but to the sen^^itive and gntle a deli- 
cate garment, that receives many a hurt aud liarm in our movpuieiis 
and .siiif'. i;ni then comes woman v.ith love, which is the needh^ and 
thread — upon my wortl 1 am not .'^peaking in jesi — and lend ily takes 
up the lavels and tears, [rises.) 

Lot. {rises). But sometiines she makes the rents worse — and some- 
limes she tears the stuff itself just out of spite. How theti? {exit Grant, 
n F. Ida (-nd Dekcie come down, n.) 

Ida. 1 should like a nice walk. You two s'nall take us out. 

Dee. Very well. 

Lot. {to Jack, her hand on his arm as they go r., ofrctioyiatehj). Dear 
J.ick, I shall try hard to be a good wifi*. I will sew you up very care- 
fully, and the work shall not come undone ! (Ida and Deecie exeunt b. 
1 E. {jin'WR follows them of^ pausing to kiss Jack.) 

Ent<r, I). F.. Grant. Exd Lottik n. 1 e. 

Grant. Hem I Oh ! Mi'. Wyatt ! (comes down and meets Jack. r. front. 
To himself, but aloud) Why not ? {to Jack) My dear boy, you will hard- 
ly believe me but my cash in hand amounts at the present moment to 
the sum of four pounds, eighteen shillings — {laughingly) vou can'i credit 
it? 

Jack. Oli, ves, I can believe in — {pause) the eiuhteen shillings, Mr. 
Grant. 

Grant. And I am in urgent need of a large sum. In short, you will 
be suipiised to hear that 1 would like to be a debtor to you in the ridic- 
ulou ly low sum of ten poun Is. 

Jack. 1 am not surprised. But the money I lend you does ycui no 



14 TWO ROSES. 

good, and I want all I can get for Lottie. Sliare what you like whep 
we get married. 

Grant. jMy dear boy! (^npologtzing ) 

Lottie {off vi. ] e., calls). Aie you leady, Jackl 

Jack. Aye, ready--and ready-witied ! Come on! (^exit b. 1 e. 
Grant takes seat up r. c. Knock d. v.) 

Grant. Come in ! 

Enter^ D. F , Mr. Fubnival, with valise in his hand, to l. $ide of table, b. c. 

FuRNTVAL. Mr. Grant? 

Grant. Yps. that's my name, and I'm proud of it. 

For. {tn mock wonder). Dear me • There's my card, {he makes a point 
with his •' Dear me ! " which is to be spoken emphatically, tu such a tone as 
suits his private valuation of whatever ts said to him.) 

Grant {seated, takes card, aside). Furnival! solicitor I a lawyer 1 
Whew ! what mystery's in the wind now ? 

Fur. Dear me ! these things were bought in at the sale? 

Grant. Family relics — no one would bid for them. 

For. {using hts eye-glass). Dear me! 

Grant. Except a few brokers — who were bonnetted ! {rises) This 
chair — my wjfe sold the ring off her finger to buy for mo— no one oppos- 
ed her out of respect for me ! I see you know something of my affairs. 

Fur. 1 know all. I have been engaged for some time on them. May 
Isii7 

Grant. Certainly. 

Fur {takes chair l. side of table, putting valise on table. Gives n paper 
to Grant). Thai is correct, I think 1 

Grant. Yes, 

Fur You seem a strong man — good nerve? Is there anything in 
that bottle ? 

Grant Sherry. 

Fuk Is it good ? 

Grant. Very. 

Fuk. Take a glass. (Grant drinks like ** a judge of good liquor ") Dear 
me! ('// wonder) Now, p'^rhaps, you had better take anotlier glass. 
(Grant rt'/vw/iTx) Dear me ! You can bear it now. {shows paper) Tliat is 
collect, t"0, I iliink ? 

Grant. Pertecily 

For. 1 liave to congratulate you. You are the heir to ten thousand 
a-year. 

Grant {rises hut falls back into ch'itr), I — I' {nearly chokes) 

Fdr Ye.s ! A'l, yon ought l(» have t 'ken another glass — or, perhaps, 
you lia.l some betore. Try and keep cx)] There is hut one p^^rs. .n be- 
tween you and ilie e.state of the De Cli 'p roi s. That person, if existing, 
caiuiot l>e found. Your claims will not We dit^puLed. 

Grant. C>n I ta^e possession at onc:^ ? 

Fur Not yet •■ut so"ii. In tie mean time, I will do nil 1 can for 
you You will pardon me, but it may happen that you are occasionally 
out of cnsh 1 

Grant {standing at back of tabl'). 1 occasionally have money, but 1 am 
without it as a rule. 

Fur. Dear me! I have put two ihou.^and })ounds at your dispo>al in 
the local bank — you will excuse the liberty. 

Grant. Don't mention it. 

Fur. I have brought a cheque-book— you will pardon me f 

Grant. Freely. 



ACT I. 15 

Fnn. F<>' ilip prc'^iit, iIkmi, jrood-byf. (fo n. f.) 

(Jkant. {opcNs D. F.). Allow luc ! Nol)le spirits are not inflated with 
pri)spe;it\ . 

Fuu. {iiicredu oitslij). D^ar me ! [Exit d. r. 

Grant, {hniniling cheque-book, nervoudij). Tliank heaven ! {closes d. f., 
on, I comes to tnble) I will now no loiiijer be under obligations lo anybody. 
{siis n. of table and practises his signature) Let me see ! Yes, a little 
cheque ! A futu'e opens befoiv me ! The public acknowledge wealth, 
the government acknowledge influence. By a skillful selection of poli- 
tics, I may yet see my white hairs under a coronet ! {writes cheque, 
knock, D. F.) Come in ! 

Enter Mrs Cupps, p. f. 

Mus. Cupps {delightedly). Oh, Mr. Grant, I've got the money. 

Grant {coolly). My good woman — 1 was wishing to soe you. Pray 
sit down and wait — I will attend to you. (Mrs- Cupps sits l. of table, 
puzzled,) 

Enter, k. 1 e , Lottie and Ida, tvith hats and lace fichus on, Dekcie and 

Jack. 

LoTTiK. We've got the fichus on, papa ! How do you Ike it ? 

Grant, {'■oftdy). My dear children, come nearer. (Lottie and Ida 
go up R. c )* 

Grant (sharply . Take off those things ! 

Lot. But, paoa 

Ida. Why 1 

Grant. tXo as yon are bid ! i-rke them off! (Lottie and Ida dowly 
rcDiove their hats) My dear children, I do not know why I should not say, 
my clear friends. (Drecie takes chair n. front. Jack up .ttage beside him) I 
i..ive, to some exient, deceived you. i have lieen, like Timon. tired of 
ihe hollowness of the world, sick <>f its host of shams, seeking its sim{)le 
joys. I have i ot been disaj)poinied. Here is an instance, {points to 
Mrs. Uupps) M -ny times my dauizhiers have Iciown her U lul s"i;citude 
whr^n she n<-'ver thonglit that tliey would be in a ])osi'ion to repiy her. 
Such nncilcu aiing goodness shall not no un eward d. Mrs. Cupps, a 
littU' cheque I (c/ives cheqae to Mrs. Cupps. ivlto sfwis "t it in great pleas- 
ure and surprise) [ have now the con)mand of the lortune to wiiich I was 
eiui'.led. and mv daughters will tr-ike lh;it high position in society for 
vrhicii they ate fiited by iheir birth and gifts. 

Enter, d. p.. Jenkins, with a bundle of clothes and a bottle wrapped in paper. 

Jenkin.s Here's the dry sherry and the kicksies ! {puts them tri- 
tvnph'in'iy on table.) 

Grant. Ah, Mr. Jenkins — our Mr, Jenkins — is another examp-e of a 
kind heart among the lowly — I have not tailed to notice th it, under the 
shallow pretence of disposing of remainders left in his sample case, ho 
lias brought sinidry articles f>)r my daughteis, such as — is — shall be 
nameless. He cannot be expected to possess thai refinement which 
distinguishes we members of the upper-cicies. H* mearit, well, yes — 
he meant well. Mr. Jenkins, a little cheque. (Jenkins takes cheque, con- 



♦Deecik Lottie. Grant. Mrs. Cdpps. 

Jack. Ida. 

B. frtmt. R. c. c. L. c. 



16 ■:"1V.) LOSES. 

founded) Mr. Deecie — {loftily) wliose nftliciion I deplore — '-v s so rroorl 
as to — ah ! lend my daustiiers a i)ian()- — .em ! he did nol mean L > od' a i. 
but we cannot remain under obligations lo anyone — so, a litt e cii' que ! 
{givef Deecik f/iCi2?«^) As for tliat y:)ung man Wyatt ! (Deecie ?'.<»//• im 
Jack, xcho makes an angry gesture^ Ida and Lottie are at l. front . >■>(■■- 
prised and pained al what is said) 1 have tried liim, and had 1 found t m 
worthy, I should have formed an alliance with him — but {liuglia) - n!y 
a few minutes since he refused me the triflinj? accommodation of i a 
pounds, for which he would have been repaid in tliousands ! 

Jenk. {aside). Whew ! (Mrs. Cctpps lifts up her hands tn amazement.) 
Grant But he has the worst vice of the vulgar — no faith, no confi- 
dence ! I will have no more to do with him ! 

Lot. Oh ! {carries her hand to her lieart. Ida consoles her.) 
Grant. I have liad from him, on various occasions, the sums of ten 
pounds — twenty — what do I know! thirty pounds! 1 never wish to 
see iiim more, and thus I clear the score. A little cheque ! (Jack m govvi 
to make a rush at Grant, but Deecie restrains him, and Deecie ttkes the 
cheque. All form picture. Grant, c, one hajid thrust in his bosom, in ( Hi- 
tilde of having his portrait taken as speaker rn a public meeting. Mrs. Cjjp.i'S 
fl«rf Jenkins staring at their cheques in amazement. Lottie weeping^ sup- 
ported by Ida, Deecie consoling Jack.) 

♦Jenkins. 
♦Grant. *Mrs. Cdpps. 

Deecie.* *Jack. Lottie.* ♦Ida. 

slow curtain. 



Six months are supposed to have elapsed since the incidents of the First Act. 



ACT II. 

SCENE. — Interior in Zd grooves. Sitting-room of Mr. Jack Wyatt. 

Discover Mrs. Jenkins seated n., front ; Deecie at piano up c. ; Jack 
seated by tablr, n. C. ; and Jenkins seated c. The gentlemen are snv^- 
ing, while Deecie accompanies them. 

Mrs. Jenkins. Oh, Edward, don't desecrate the day by such di.scord i 
I don't mind vour siiiiiinfr — a psalm — but you have no voice! Ah, 
Sno 'g!( s had a fine voice ! 

Drk. One fir Mrs. Jenkins! 

Mrs. .1. Siiofiiiles had proper regard for his wi:e — lie wouldn't Iiav,-» 
forct'd her lo lie.ir .»;ucii ribaldry ! 

Je.nk. I wivh he would ;e:urn and remove you from suc'.i an aimos- 
pheie— It woi.ldn'r, b» to a cooler ! 

Mrs J. {,s/wck''d). i dear! 

DEii. If Ida was here wlien Mrs. Jenkins is displeased, she would sny, 
"I am so frightened ! '' (Jack pours out tome.) 

Jenk. Yes ; if the young l.idy was here she would, seeing Mrs. Jenk- 
ins, liave n»ason to say so. 

Dee. Hear, liear, hear! 

Mrs. J. ru not stay here to be annoyed ! 



ACT II. 



17 



Jenk. Oil, it's so dull tlint even antioija is aareeai'U'! 

Mrs. J. Yoii shouid read, .-'.nd be atmised ! 

Jexk. Read ! there's notliing amusing, not even an alarming accident, 
in ihe papers. 

.AIi?s. J. Edward, are you going to dress yourself, or am I lo go lo 
ci)urcli alone ? 

Jenk. Well, my dear, if yoM put it in that way, I had much rather 
yon wonhl 20 a'one ! 

Jack {offers Mrs. Jenkins wine, and they drink together). Allow me to 
have tiie lii)n«)r, {she goes up r.) 

Mrs. J. Edward, do you n)ean to change yonr dress 1 (Deecie cornea 
down L.) I am not going to have you with me in fancy trousers ! 

Jenk. Ah, striped and clieckered trousers have lost their attraction 
upon you. Yon look uncommonly grave in that gray. 1 wish to see 
yon no more in that dress — it gives one the — the — grays ! 

Mrs J. [surprised). We were married in this dre^s 

Jenk. We were ! I am quite aware of how little importance I was in 
the ceremony. It was as nearly the marriage of one as the performances 
permit. 

Mrs. J. Yonr iiieverence is shocking. 

Ji;nk. You li^ed to like it one time over a bowl of punch. 

Mrs. J. For shame ! Mr. Jenkins, am I, or am 1 not your wifel 

Jenk. I can't deny it. 

Dee. It's a wonder to me that he isn't very eager to claim lier. 

Jack And lo me. You are looking as lovely as if all the good in 
Pand'-ni's box had fallen upon you ! 

Jenk. Dreadful age! I wonder they allow Pandoras to bo.x any- 
bod\ 

Mrs J. {(/Inss in hand). Oil ! it's no use casting purl before swine — 
may you a I look as well, and feel no worse a hundred years from the 
presi nt time. 

Jack [drinks). Honor to Mrs. Jenkiiis' ;oa t. 

Jenk. I don't like her toast — it is always to > black — puts me in mind 
of her favorite text — the brandy ))lncke(] fri-in ihe burning. 

Jack. I protest to you, my dear Mis J.-nU n . you look younger than 
ever, and whf^n Jenkins gives up the ghosi 

Jenk. Don't talk nonsens' — I never h.ul a ghost ! 

Mi!S. J. (rolls her eyes upivards). Alas ! all fle.sli is grass ! 

Jenk. I wish it was, and 1 wou'd »o haymaking to-n»orrow. 

Jack I would claim the refusal of your hand 

Jenk. I wish you had the pair of them. Jane, cm I have some hot 
water? 

Dee. No ! we would have lier betw^een us. 

Jenk. Better say a Joiil, Suxk Company 

Der. Joint Stock— li' Si)ar.> Rib — ha, ha! 

Jenk. With power to add to your mmibers. Bah I I'll have asmoke. 
{goes up c.) 

Mrs. J. Edward, no f uch thina ! I will not have everybody in the 
pew sneeziiiii as tlipy were 1 ist Sunday. 

Jrnk. [at R. 3 R p ). Jane, will you let me have hot water"? 

Mrs. J. You are always wantiiij^ hot water. 

Dee. And yet he is always in it. {goes np h) [Exit Jenkins, b. 3 e. d. 

Mrs. J. Thai's a very impudent young man ! lie don't seem to re- 
coiinize lis affticiion. They say, '' Piiy the Poor Blind," but they 
ought lo sivo their sympathy rather to the mutes ! Ah, when the time 
for tribulatioB comes, one ought totribulatel He should be patient, 
and not flv in one's face. 



18 TWO ROSES. 

Jack {feelingly). No, Mrs. Jenkins, I will not have anyone speak so 
of Caleb. Wlien 1 was sick none so devoted — who so gentle and con- 
stant b.v my bedside nursing me — going about as quiet as a woman, and 
never npsptiing anything. 

Mrs. J. Yes, I acknowledge he was very good to you — but he treats 
me with no more resppct than a monthly nurse shows a single gentle- 
man ! {up R. c Drecie, c, up. Jack crosses down to -L. front.) 

Drh:. Stand off"! Don't touch m*^ ! or, by my viroin lionor, I shall 
scream ! (s'nnd^ on gunrd with violin in one hand and the bow tn the other) 
Hark ! Mrv. Jenkins has pot new boots on. I knew I had heard strange 
footsteps al)out the room lately. 

Mrs. J {nside). Th'nk of that now. He has heard the strange lady! 
(c, Deecie 'coming to her right.) 

Dee. Stand oft'! don't approach me! I sny, Jack, isn't Mrs. Jenkins 
a jolly roll of music ! {runs fiddle how across Mrs. Jenkins's chest, as tf 
she were a bass viol, and imitates b'iss viol notes, as) Boom, proo-oo-om- 
ooli ! 

Mrs. J. Where is that man! (to r. 3 e. d.) Edward, have you changed 
your clothes ? [Ezit, r. 3 e. d. 

Dee. Ah, the gray mare is the bettpr liorse ! 

Jack. Poor Jenkins ! It's tlie o;d table of the jackboot and the slip- 
per — iiie question is, will the j.ickboot be cut down into a slipper, or 
will tlie slipper be pieced out uiio a jackboot. 

Dee. No woman can be pieced out— but tiie mm will be cut down — 

reduced 

Jack. What must he suffer in hainess — ])oor Jenkins ! 
Dee. Poor J.ick ! {draws n long, doleful note on the violin.) 
Jack. Put down tha' fidd e. 

Dke You'ie a hypociiie ! You are breaking your heart about Lottie. 
Jack. Poor L'>tti^ ! wa migiit have been happy if it hadn't been for 
tliat pompons fool, her faiher, with his rubbish about blood and birth, 
as if a man wasn't a man it lie is a Jones or a Robinson, [seated, e. c.) 

Der. If a robin's son, I should think him a bird. Look here, Jack, if 
thai'.s so, when M s. Jones has a baby, is it a Jones or a Rnbinson 1 

Jack. Noiisen.se! A man is none the better tor haviiiii all the blood 
ot ii:e Howards and Percies ! A noble river may sluice a drain, but still 
it i^' a rivpv. 

Dke You say so, because Lottie lives among the swells. You envy 
them 1 

Jack. Not T. mv dear b 'y ! {prepares n cigar for smnktng, pretendedly 
cirelesslij) I d >M't, Intp ih^ s^veil. Ratier there U a lack of selfishnes-", 
a (lesire to S'ltferf.r tu ; ])leasu-e ot others, wh cti makes me admire 
him. We fellows .spend our money on ours-lves, for beer and books, 
pampering our own bodies, with om- own objects of ^ratification. Now 
the swell hops and buys — sometimes he buys t ipm— new clothes, boots, 
hats — he hangs upon him chain^^, lockeis — and iheij comes cut in all 
his <'lo- y for me to admire him. An 1 I dont even have lo buy a ticket 
for I lie s ovv. I have a front seat for nothins. And y.'t. while I am ad- 
mit iui his pii.nt leather boots he is suffering from coins I Ah! a no- 
ble anim il IS a swell ! (^crosses to l ) 

Dee. Very good song and very wll sung — a id the chorus is, still you 
are a humbug ! We are all like fiddlers none of us of the same sort, 
yet the great old Fid'Her {reverently) gets the same tune out of us all. 

Jack, {resumes seni ,.s before at R. c. table). I wonder whom Lottie will 
marry ? 

Dee {significantly). Oh ! some swell, I suppose. You had better 
make up to some fine lady. 



ACT II. 19 

Jack. I sinll noTfr mfirry. (Dkrcie plfiy^ extrnv^(jynfhj on the vwlin) 
Pill down lliaL cursed (uldle! Caleb, do you tliinli 1 am a vain man 1 

Dee. N... 

Jack. Thfu I think that a lady has fallen in love wiili me. 

Dke. WliaL makes yon iliink so? 

Jack Von know our Mrs. JfnkiMs 

Dek. {inff'rnrpts, I'lKginuij). H i, 111! You <lon'L mem to say that 

Jack. Nonsense! You know, 1 sav, ihaL our Mrs. Jenkins is not lib- 
er .1 .' 

Dee. I believe that she spends most of her time in trying to boil hilf 
an ejyu. 

Jack. Well, she has lately been findins us m 'tiv little delicicie--, and 
whon 1 found thit they didn't appear in th^^ h;,KS, I made her lell the 
truili. Tiieie is a strange lady who comes here with a full coriiucop.a, 
and natunlly, Mrs. Jenkins held out Inn- apron. 

Dei<: I'm sui'e ii was a large one. 

Jack. The corniico[)ia'? 

Dek. No, the ap.ron. 

Jack. So I wrote a letter for the strange lady, telling her tliat her 
pfTeciion was an honor to me, but that I had loved once and could never 
lov.' ai^a.n 

I'KK. A d do you think that that vrill put a stop to her pursuit of 
you? 

Jack. ^^ liy liOt 1 

Di:e. Tliai s the very thing to enc( urage her. 

Jack. But I don't see 

Dee 1 do ! that's tlie advan:aue of hr-ing bli d. {seated L. c ) 

Enter, B. 3 E. D., Jenkins, with a bundle of clothes. 

Jrnkins {dolefully). Do you remember when I used to be a jolly fel- 
low \ 

Jack {smiles), I don't lemember when you were anythiuG: else. 

Jknk. L 'ok ;it me now ! 1 am liiie a faded print, ioo.^o colors that's 
be n 1. roiiuh the w s!i. 

Jack. Whut's the mai/or 1 

Jenk. M s. Jenkins ! {sk.iksa his head) and I have got her badly. 0\\ ! 
o ;ce liow I h)!iged lo ■ liie possession of tliat woman! and now I have 
h^^M- I am like a thief wiih a big bank-bill — 1 don't know whit to do with 
her. 

Dke. I wish I had a two-hundred-pound bill, ju-at to try Ihu ! 

Jenk. I otdeied a si;i|)-up suit — a blue coat wiili l)iass buttons, styl- 
is vest, stuiuiiui kicksies. and Mrs. Jenkins has countermanded the 
K>\>\ y On!:' se*^ wliat t'l v've sent nie ! 

Jack [ope>/s h>ni<Ur). BI ick roat. 

Jkxk. {dull full I/]. Goon! 

Dke P.ir.s-on! 

Jack B^ack vest ! 

."Iknk. Pn>-.«.-d! 

J\CK. Diack pii.t. — :iea.'onsl is any one dexd \ 

Ji.NK. X ! 

J \'-K Wiiil U'-ckrloths f 

J.-,.n;c. .\ ih z n ol' thiMn ! 

J^cK. Wh.i lioes iie me.in .^ 

Jk.nk. 1 means nieetii.g ! 1 am lo hold i ho plate ! Do I look fit to 
I.;) 'I he plate .' A knite and a fork are jnore in my line ! 

Dee. Mr. Jenk!1is, vou are married 1 



20 TWO ROSES. 

Jenk. People will think 1 am carrying a begging-letter — or gettK*^ 
up a petition for an AnLi-Beer Associalion. When [ go to the Bagroeti's 
Supper. Bob Snapper will propose thai ihe reverend gentleman in the 
wliire choker shall favor the company witli a comic song! They will 
call me " Bishop Jenkins! " and ask me if I have the thirty-nine a' ti- 
des in my snmple case. IMl be asked no more for theatre orders i)ut 
if I itra in holy ordeis, and if my principles are orthodox. I made an 
appointment, Loo, lo join a lot of jolly fellows, and here's Mrs. Jenkins 

wants me to go with her lo church to hold the plate! D d— hem, 

the piate be blessed ! Let me see— have you got a newspaper 1 

Jack. Yes ! {gctn n vewspaper.^ 

Jenk. Thanks ! {folds up pnper) Now, any red tape? 

Jack. Red tape ! what for ? 

Dee. Going to hang Mrs. Jenkins 1 Give him enough rope! 

Jenk. Never mind ! 

Jack. There's some here that came to Caleb, {give^ red tape.) 

Jenk. That will do. {ties up newspaper) Now, you will kindly write. 

Jack. What is it for? 

Jenk Does that look like a legal paper going to a lawyer ? - 

Dee. I understand. 

Jenk. Diiecl it ! 

Dee. (poin'ing l ). There's pen and ink. (Jack gets pen and ink, l.) 

Jenk. To Mr. Furnival. 

Jack. Our Mr. Furnival 1 

Jenk. Yes ; Mrs. Jenkins will do anything to obliae you— if it doesn't 
cost anything ! She wouldn't excuse me from chapel, but she will let 
me take a paper from you to your lawyer's, and then I can go to the 
supper I 

Jack. Ah ! 

Jenk. And will drink your health. 

Jack. And Mrs. Jenkins' 1 

Voice of Mrs. Jenkins {nf r. u. b.). Edward! 

Jenk. No ! [Exit, r. 3 E. d. 

Jack. Who wouldn't be a bachelor 1 go out when you please, go 
where you please, wear what clothes you like, and have no one to dic- 
tate to you. Poor Jenkins ! 

Dee. Poor Jack! More humbug! 

Jack. What a quantity of humbugs and hypocrites there are in the 
world 

Dee. [ wish you would break out into a manly, honest growl, and not 
keep on snarling in this manner, {comes to Jack.) 

Jack. Well, Caleb, (with emotion) that faithless girl is going far to 
making a had man of me. I am beginning to wish that I could tear 
all remembrance of her out of my heart, that's too full of her. Caleb, 
this is a d d wicked world ! 

Dee. Tliat's right ! (feels Jack's pulse) The growl to be repeated four 
times a day, until the patient is better. 

Voice of Furnival {oJ" r. u. e.). I will go in at once to Mr. Wyatt. 

Dee. That's Mr. Furnival. 

Jack. Our Mr. Furnival ; what can he want here to-day 1 

Enter, k. 3 E. D., Furnival and Mrs. Jenkins. 

Mrs. J. Jenkins has just gone to your place, sir. 
Jack {aside). Jenkins has done it ! (aloud) Oh, it's not of importance. 
Mrs. J. Not important ! and you sent him to-day, when you know I 
wanted hira to take me to churcli ! 



ACT II. 



21 



Jack. I mean not very important. (Deegie goes up c, and reclwes on 
sofa, where he dozes.) 

MiiS J. He can't liave got far. Tl'e servant giil shall go after him. 

( Exit, n, 3 E. D. 

FuKMVAL. I must ask to be excused for tioulilmg \uii on biinday. 
Ml. Wyatl, but it's not exactly a cill up -n busiMe>s. [gives I'nv-papcrs to 
Jack) yrt I don't wish to lose any lime. Wdl you be Itiiid eii«)ug i to 
look over these papers, Bv-lhe-wav, what's this about a message by 
Mr. Jenkins? 

Jack. Ou, i.oth.ng of importance. You must know that Mr. JonU ms 
is m irried. 

Fur. (c). Dear nip ! 

Jack. And consequently Mr Jenkins has a wife. 

Fur. Dear rae ' I s e, Jenkins has overdone it. That woman is too 
much nnonrfstone f P.»or lei low \ Yoi-l uriv .send M:' Jenkins h^ttibng <ilyly) 
to meas often as you i>!ea."^e (nta c) I slion'd lik^ } on lo f^xaniine tlie ttiiid 
paper. Ah, women, .Mr. Wyatt,, are l.Ue i'ot)!^ vc y us.'mi . fiuily <1 - 
sirable, but a torment if yon get a mis-lii. Tne poets likm liieiu to 
ri'ses. Well, maybe so — at firsi all bloom and sueeiness, huL soon they 
grow cold at the heart — the i>e!als fall off -and t.iere is uoJuug left but 
sletu and thorns 

Jack. You exactly express my sentiments on the sex, Mr Fuinlv.-d. 

Fur De.ir me ' {^-ises) May I look round "? 

Jack. Certainly, [reads papers nnd coriucts tlmn loHh p-n. huyn $• of 
being surprised and interested He glances at Deecie and Fuunival, ^c ) 

Fur. Ah, family portraits! [cye-alass vp) Your father, I jiiesuuii' ? 

Jack. Yes. 

Fur. Nothing bad in liis t ce, nothing bid — vt-ry amiable — i little 
weak -but no evil — inider ])!oper guidance capable of great good acts 
but tailing into bad hands he might be ruined 1 

Jack. He was. 

Fur. Dear me. I am sorry I commented. 1 can see the likeness- 
it's very like. Your mother"? 

Jack Yes, heaven b ess her ' 

For. Yes; you may well say that. A kind woman who loves her 
children — not th.^ sort of woman who wants a vote, slie would cae 
nuire for her jiins spoiling than tiie defeat of the ministry ! A needle 
in one liand and Locke in the other — ah, out of dale ! 

Jack. You want me to put down the date at whic!) 1 first saw him 1 

Fur. Precisely so! [goes doivn l-, looking at every rhing.) 

Jack. Do you think you will succeed in your searches ? 

Fur. I think so, [looks at framed picture h. 2 e. set) Ah, two roses! 
Not by an artist 1 No. Lottie — Lottie I Oh, the name of a younger 
sist.er ? 

Jack. Of a younger sister — not mine. 

Fur. Dear me I Will you kindly see that 1 have the points down 
correctly in the third paper — the tliird? 

Jack. Yes. 

Fur. Do you think the sexton of the church will be able to confirm 
those p.iriicul .rs 1 

Jack. Well, I should suppose so. 

Fur. I hive my clerk ready to go down to Nottingham. By the 
way, do you know what time my letter will be delivered in Canterbury 1 

Jack ['o Dekcie). Caleb, what's the hours of postal delivery of the 
L (i.don ujail in Canterbury ? 

1)i:e. [sleepiy). i don't know. I never l)ad any letters when 1 was in 
C (iiiHr iiry. 



22 TWO ROSES. 

Fur. Dear me ! (looki at paper under glass t^hade, L 2 e.) What have 
we goL here ? oh. eli ? a che(iue on ihe Canieibury Bank — pay to John 
Wyait — signs 1 by Digliy Giani — wliaL ' De Chaperon! a cheque never 
presented ! (aloud to Jack^ You know Giant. 

Jack. Peilectly. He's " Lottie's " father. 

FcR Dear me I 

Jack I'lu tjoing to my mother to have a cup of lea. (Deecie wak'js 
jup and rises) Mr. Fiirnival, will you join us. 1 shall have great pleasure 
t\ inirodncing you to my mother. 

Fur. With pleasure, {all go to r. 1 k. d., Fprsival aside) Who'd iiave 
thought to find all this in this room \ Tw(; ro:5es, Louie, Digby Grant, 
Lottie's father— well 1 dear me ' 

[Exit, R. 1 n. D., after Jack and Deecie. 

Stage dear for an instant. Enter, n. 3 e. d., Mrs. Jenkins, showing m 

Lottie. 

Mrs. Jenkins. They have gone in to tea. {comes down c. Lottie 
comes down r. c.) 

Lot. There is no fear of h s .seeing mel 

Mrs. J. None, my dear Tlipy ;i re ijood there for half an hour. 

Lot. There's the spoons (;/ut5 parcel) which I promised to bring for 
him I .shon d so like Lo have a httie i-eep iit him. {goes to r. 1 e. d.) 

Mrs. J. {half opens pared). All ! if ever anyone was in love that's she ! 
That's someLfiHig like love. 'LirsTi^ peers vi at keyUoleof r. 1 k. d.) Real 
silver! and all h.ili-marked, too ! 

Lot. {^joyfully). 1 can sise Jack's legs! no! it's an old gentleman's? 
There, tliat's Jack — he's handing an old lady to the table. How polite 
of Jack! How well he hangs his head ! {comes c.) You are sure there 
is not anything else lie wants but spoons 7 

Mrs. J. Well, he's always wanting something for his mother 1 He 
asks me to get him them— but the times are so hard that I can'i afford 
to get them. 

Lot. I will pay you. 

Mrs. J. Veiy well. 

Lot. But lie mustn't know who gets them. 

Mrs. J. Dear no ! I will charge them in the bill, and then he won't 
know l)ut what I bought them for hira. 

Lot. Will you kii d!y see that nobody is looking? (Mrs. Jenkins goes 
up to window, L. 3 e.) 

Mrs. J. Ves 

Lot. {goes to mantel-piece, r. 2 e., and takes up articles). Is this the pipe 
Jack smokes .'' {business of repugnance at smelling it) Oh, how nasty ! 

Mrs. J. Ves, ii is, and nasty enough, to >. 

Lot. {shakes her head). Yes, it is— I ou-jht lo like it, but I can't ' 
faugh ! Oil ! how wicked of me to go on so about Jack's pipe. Now I 
must be going. You are sure I haven't forgotten anything? (c.) There 
was noihing I had to bring but the spoons 1 

Mrs. J. No ! Oh, there is one thing I forgot to mention, {vroduees 
letter) H^^re is a letter I have for you. 

Lot. From Jack? 

Mrs. J. {nods). Yes. I have !iad it in my pocket for a week. 

Lot. Then you— oh, you promised not to tell him. 

Mrs. J. I told him a lady called, mv dear, but not that it was a young 
lady. 

Lot. {opens letter, seated c). Jick doe.s not improve in his wrlfingat 
any rate, {rends letter) " Dear lady, forgive me " How polite o( J cli, 



asking a sti anger to foruive him when he hasn't done anvil. in ! ' i 
not know who you aie, but believe me, Iain pioud ot the aiiv^c . i 
whicii I have ni'C(uisciously in.si)iied." {piny fully) What a vain ohl tjoDse 

1)6 is! "But I loved once '' that's me' "I loved once, but slio 

whom I loved was not tiue. I have suffered much from her faiihles.-.- 

ness." How dare Jack say I am false ? [crying a little) " I can never 

love you ' You make the strange lady very happy by saying that ! " I 

shall never love ML'aiii/' Oh, yes, you will, J-ick. {riaes.) 

' Deecie's Voice (off R ) I will go round the corner and get the papers, 

Ihen. 

Jack s Voice {off k.). Thank yon. Mind you get last week's. 

Lot. That's his dear voice ! bless him ! {up c.) I do w.sh you, dear 
Jack, knew I was here ! 

Voice op Digby Grant {off v.. u. v..) You say it is the first floor ? 

Lot. My father ! {rushes admit tviUly) I wouldn't have li:m see me 
here lor the world! {hides behind curtciiis of toittdow. l v. e. Knot/:, n. 

3 E. D.) 

Enter, r. 3 e. d., Grant and Ida.* 

Mrs. J. Come in ! 

Grant. Will you kindly let Mr. Wyatt know that a gentleman wishes to 
see him "? 

Mrs. J. {curtsetjing profusely). Oh ! Mr. De Chaffering here— this is 
indeed an honor. 

Grant. Will he be long 1 

Mrs. J. He'l not think of keeping you waiiinz, sir. 

Grant. Do not mention my name. 

Mrs. J. Ah, sir. I often see you at meeting — only the other day 1 
remember your addressinir me and five thousand other suflferers, squeez- 
ed up in Exeter Hall.f Ah, what goodly comfort is in your speech 
when you 

Grant {sternly). Will you add that I have no time to lose ? 

Mrs. J. I am going, sir. {Exity r. 1 e. d. Stage dark. 

Grant. Ida, do you wish to speak with this man or not ? 

Ida. N>! 

Grant. What folly then is thisi If yon do not wish to see him, why 
have yuu come here 1 

Ida. I neither care nor seek to see him. I told you J would come here 
with you and I have come. 

Grant. But why 1 

Ida. Because I cannot trust you alone with him. 

Grant. Ida, you annoy me very much ! {walks about tiervously) Ah I 
I w sM vou were more like your sister Lottie. 

Ida. Loitie lacks spirit. If I were Lottie I should have married Mr. 
Wvatr long ago in spite of you! (r. c.) 

Grant (c). And I should have cast you off! driven you from ray 
door. 

Ida. Such a man r.s Jack is worth fifty of the noodles who surround 
us now, 

Grant. What folly is this ? Would you renounce all your surround- 
ings of luxury and fishion ? 

Ida ( loyfihly). I sliou'd be proud to have the love of siic'i a man as 
Jack ! ^ 

"Mbs. JenK!: s. Ida. Grant, LorrrK. 

K. K. c. c (hidden.) 

' Exeter Hall is fhe usual place tor religious assemblages, clerical meetings, sacred 



24 TWO KOSES. 

Grant. Proud of the frothy mouth Ings of a bliml poet and a knave of 
a scribbler ! 

Ida [Jitrcely), Don't you say anythins of Jack or iiis friend ! No ill 
word ot them, miiid you ! {pause, leans on tublc, r. c ) N ly ! I sold father, 
but now, that 1 would leave you if I were in hr.e u jrii a nuin, but I was 
not uttering trutii — I coul I not give excuse for you a: d our fri iids to 
look down upon me I {tenrfiUly) and I couldn't liaveLoiie die a^ a mis- 
erable beogai- ! No! when 1 advise he)-, it is to iiave iicr happs — not 
that, not that ! 

Grant. You — you affect me very much ! haven't I given you eveiy- 
thing that money wiM buy 1 Wiy have \ou c<'ine here? 

Ida. I said I must go with you because {tenderly and hesilatmgly) I 
know tliat you do not always speak tlie truth, (n ) 

Grant. How dare you— how (iare you ! (l., walking about angrily.) 

Voice of Jack (r. 3 e , off). Please to open the door. I iiave got a 
lamp in my han«l. (Grant opens r. 3 e. d.) 

Enter Jack, r. 3 e. d., with lighted lamp. Putting it on table, r. c, he 
turns up the light. Lights up. 

Jack. Thank you. {does not see Ida up r. Seex Grant) Mr. Grant! 
To what strange cause do 1 owe the honor of your visit lo me here ? 

Grant. I am glad you c^li it an honor ! It always afiords me pleas- 
ure to see the regard in which the governing classes are held by the 
working i)e')ple. " / <.m glad you think it an honor. 

Jack. Shall you be long, sir — foi- my mother is waitiuii. 

GiiANT. The word mother touches a cord in every human breast, by 
whomsoever it is utiered. 

Jack. Then many mi lions of people are often playing on a stringed 
iiisiruuient. 

Ida (aside). It does one good to hear his cheery voice again, {hiding 
behind chair, up R. c. She sees Lottie peeping out, l. 3 e. Busuiess be- 
tween them of surprise, etc.) 

Jack. Won't jou lake a chair? {crosses to l. c.) You once made me 
very weh.ome in youi- hous^^. 

Grant {ta/ces seat, c, loftUy). Ya-as, I have held out ray hand to the 
lowly — I have held out my hand to you. 

Jack {markedly). You did— and I put money in it. 

Ghant. Ahc^m ! {^on/used) We are not here to enter into matters of 
the i>asL 

Jack No, that was mor*? of a, present. 

Grant. You asked lo wliat si range cause was to be attributed the 
ohjeci of my visit. I q,u.-stion the qualifying word. Tha last time we 
met [ express d the hope that W3 sijould never have a second meeting, 
and Heaven f )rbi 1 we slionll ever have a third. 

Jack. Amen, With all my heart. 

Grant. I do not wish you to stand. 

Jack. Thank you, I preler it. {leans against table or chair, l. c.) 

Grant. At that time 1 requested that all connection wiih my daugh- 
ter, Charlotte, would be considered at an end, and for a long time I had 
thouglit that you would i.ehave witli as much firmness and delicacy as 
your friend, Mr. Deecie, towards her sister. 

Jack. Sir ! 

Grant. But I find that you have established a correspondence with 
T'er. (Jack is perplexed and rejiects) You have bribed my menials, no 
d 'ubt — a fellow feeling ! you have evaded my watchful cares — you have 
\\f iitf n to my daughter, Charlotte, in such terms as would best affect her 

liT" t Ji'kI S(M!'. 



ACT 11. ZK 

Jack. Are j'ou in your senses 1 

Grant. Slie is — so do not imaojne for one moment that siie lias heeri 
swayed by your language. I would not suffer a cliild of iumio lo b^ so 
easily led, though 1 am far from a tyrant to my f^unily — but she has 
grown out of her silly, girlish notions, and loolis a it as a tner^' passing 
whim. Nevertheless, such conduct on your part is unfaii — unmanly I 
Ah, 1 see thai you are very properly silent — ashanie i ! 

Jack. Not at all; but I conte s than 1 am puzzled. Have jou that 
letter with you 1 

Grant. Yes. {shows letter.) 

Jack. May I look at it? 

Grant. 1 came to return it. 

Jack [looks at letter, examines it closely, ts surprised, and then smiles with 
joy). So you took this from Lottie recently 1 

Grant. Miss CharUitte gave it me yesterday. She has no cire for 
such nonsense now. She pities you — pities you ! 

Jack. I do not know the real motive of your visit here, but you have 
in this given the best proof of how unfounded is your im|»utation upon 
me. 

Grant {nmazed). What do you mean ? 

Jack. In the first i)lace, I have never seen nor written to your daugh- 
ter since our last parting. This letter, which she Ims treasured up, is 
tiie last one I wrote her, and received at th;.t time. You iiave unwit- 
tingly been Love's messenger. 

Grant. Hem! {rises) I have made some mistake. I am sorry tliat I 
troubled you. {goes r , to go up r. side.) 

Jack. Stop ; you have had your say, I would have one wo- d Th.^ 
last time we were together, you said tliat I lial refused \ou a lorn of 
ten pounds, which would have been re[)aid me in thou n.\\(\.<. Tliat was 
false ! 

Grant. Sir! 

Jack. At that time you were poor, and had it not been f -r the for- 
tune of a sudden acquisition of pioperty. you wouid nev -i- h.ive been 
able lo repav it. 

Grant. You look my cheque. 

Jack But not your money ! There — {points l 2 f=:.) tli'-ie s your 
cheque, i keep it as a record in your own hand of you me.in boa-ifnl, 
ignoble nature- 

Grant. How dare you 1 

Jack. Dare ! Courage dares when it ni ets courage. I was silent 
bt-fore beeau e your daugh ers were pre-ent, and I wished to spare 
them the knowlecige of what a fals'-heai ted 

Grant. Hoid your tonsue ! 

Jack. M vaii--pirited hound their father is ! 

Grant Vou — you lie ! 

Jack I ? I n ver told a falsehood in my life! Retract those words. 

Grant. WhH folly ! 

Jack. Beg my j anion ! 

Grant. Absurd ! You're a low fellow ! 

Jack. Thei; {lift^ his hand to stnke Grant. Lottik springs out 

from behind car t" in, and holds out her h mds oppenlingiy lo Grant, who re- 
cedes a xtep, startled at seeing her. Ida also stands out, "s if to rush in he- 
ttvien Grant and Jack. All form picli'r<. 

*'IdA. R. C. I.. C. I.OTTIE.* 

Grant.* c. '•'Jack- 



26 



TWO ROSES. 



Grant. I beg your pardon!, {hoivs — hesituUngly) Yini sny— you sny 
y< u never liave written to my dauglilei ? 

Jack. Never ! I do not know where you live. 

Grant. Never seen her? 

Jack. I have no lady visitors. 

Grant. None? 

Jack. Slay ! there i.s one comes here — but I do not know that I ouglit 
to mention lier — I never have seen her. 

Grant. I am satisfied with your explanation. Oh ! {puU his handker- 
chief to one eye as tn paw.) 

Jack What's the matter 7 

Grant. In raising your hand — some dust — in my eye ! 

Jack (ta/res up lamp to look in Grants eye). 1 had no idea I — i.s iL 
so bad as that 7 

Grant. Quick, quick ! {aside to Lottie) My bn ushani i.s at the corn-^r 
of the street ! (Lottie rushes out r. 3 e. d.. pnsnug Drecie. who entera 
there with a newspaper in his hand) Lost! {aside) No, ihank heaven, he is 
blind ! Gone ! (Jack puts lamp down.) 

Dee. {gay^y). I have the paper. Oh, you have visitor.s! 

Jack (turns and sees Ida). Ida! 

Dee. Fiia ? No, I heard another footstep — softer than hers. 

Jack. Oh, heaven ! not Lottie's ! (Ida seats hcrsdf at harmonion ana 
pi fly. 1.) 

Def. I Ihe stairs — at the street door ! (rushes to l. 3 k. window.) 

Jack (i/p c). Is it her? 

Dee. I don't know ! {Jack drops his head dis'ppoinifd ; Grant look% 
pleased; ^ DA looks at Deecie delighted and thankful ; Deecie stands tip, 
L., cahnlp, 

quick curta 



Note— If curtain is called up, the tableau is: Jack seated c front, by table, 
leaning "an it, his face hidden in his hands; Deecih' and Ida together, up c. ; Grant 
at R. 3 B. D., impatiently beckoning Ida to come with him. 

SLOW CURTAIN. 



ACT III. 

SCENE.— G'arrfcwa and eountry-house of Grant, in Ath or ^ih grooves. Sun- 
light effect 

Discover Lottie and Ida playing with supposed goldfish in vase or fountain 
up c. ; Grant seated at -l. front table, with brandy decanter, glass, anc] 
bottle of soda-water before him. 

Lot. Aren't they beauties ? There's one all in gold. 

Ida. And one in silver — and a brown on*^, like copi)er 

Lot. Gold, silver, and copper, like mo ley. 

Ida. Perhaps the f dries play with tt.eui. 

Lot. Thai's i — they're the faiiies' money, and are often laid up in a 
...ii.d b;iiik — they're their floating capital ! Here's Jack — uow, Ida you'll 
.'.<•'■ — lliHie i'v> ooL Jack 1 

vhiANT {slurls). Lottie I 



ACT III. 27 

Lot. Oil, papa, yon spoke so abruptly, you have frightened Jack 
away ! 

Grant. I wish you would break off that absurd iiabit of calling 
everything Jack, {rubs his gouty legs as in pam) I gave you a dog, and 
you called that Jack ; 1 gave you a parroL, anti hani^ me if you didn't 
alier iis family name of Polly and call ihaL Jack; I got, you a horse — 
wiiicli I Look th^ precaution to be a mare — and yon actnaily called ihat 
Jack; and now you go to the greater absunliiy of calling a jzoldfish 
Jack! 

Ida. Papa, don't you s^peak in that way to Lottie. You will make 
her ill again ! 

Grant. Ida, you annoy me very much ! You have everything you 
want — you have an affectionate father, who is ready to deprive himself 
of evtMvtliing to surround you with luxuries, and yet you annoy me 1 
(aside) What the deuce has the fellow done with the corkscrew 1 

Lot. Oh, Ida, I've got Jack ! 

Gkant. VViiat do you mean? Am I to have nop'iing but Jacks 
crammed ilown my throat 1 Ida, I will not have you look at me in that 
way ! 

Ida. Papa., you know that Lottie has been very ill ; nothing but the 
hope of seeing J.ick has yet her ii.p again, an I if she should l»ave a re- 
lapse, we should lo.se her altogether. 

Enter ^ R. procenium e , crossing to exit, L. 3 E., a Servant, with tray of 

cakes. 

Ida. What's that 7 

Servant. Soare buns, miss, for the charity children. 

[Exit, h. 3 E. 

Ida. You promised the doctor that you would send for Mr. Wyatt, 
and you have wot done so yet. 

Grant. Ida, you annoy me very much ! I will not be looked at in 
that way by you. Wherever I lio I am respected as the rep.esent.itivo 
of a ni)l)le and ancient family. When 1 go into the Hon e «»f Com- 
mons 1 am lisiened to, {drops his voice) generally, with respect — on Wed- 
nesdavs. [a " (lead " day in ParliM-jent.] Ye:, when 1 am in my own 
house, I am di^^trusl(M^ by my own childrei. — my children, tlie fiist 
proof of love (hat yciir poor moili(>r placed in my arms ! Ah, little did 
I tliink I hat Liie l.itle ey^s that look-d up .it me the i would one day re- 
iiaid me with suspicion ! Ali, it is very nft' ciing to me! 

Ida (/eirfttllg). And to me, papa. 

Lot {coni's down). What have \ou done t . Idal 

Grant. Wnat have I done 1 There again 1 

Servant enters, r. 2 e. d. 

Ida Has the p'^rson come to tune tl e pianos *-* 

Sf.rvant. Yes, miss, a b ind man ; he has tuned the piano in the 
drawing-room, and WiU presently attend to that in tiie parlor. 

\ Exit, L. U. E. 

Lot. Oh, there they are from the rectory. I'm going to play ocquet, 
Id.i! [Exit, L. 3 E. 

Grant. Why don't you join your sister, Ida ? In the s-ulks — and yet 
yod have everything to make you happy. (Ida trims rose-trees^ k.) There, 
again ! Wheii we left our temporary abode in Kent, you would insist 
in bringing along with you those rose-trees which those two young men 
planted. What are you staying here fori 

Ida. I want to speak to you, papa, {to L-) 



28 iwo liosKs. 

Grant. Not now — I am busy. 

Ida. You promised to send for Mr. Wyatt, and on that promise alone 
is Lottie so much hetter. You must let her see liim, you must, papa, or 
she will fall ill again, nnd she will die! 

Grant. I — 1 am busy, I tell you ; at another time--I will thin^ it 
over — there, there, I will send for him ! 

Ida. My good fnther, to-day 

Grant. I — I don't know — thauic heaven ! (Jooks up l ) Here's Mr. 
Jenkins ! 

Enter Jenkins, l. 3 e. io c. up. He is in black suit, and looks very solemn.' 

Grant. Ida, go and join Lottie ! {Ida goes off l. 3 e. rehictnutly) Mr. 
Jenkiis, I have ureal ])ieiisure in seeing you; Lliougli we do i ot agiee 
in politics, which is a n.iturul lesuit, nf ihe ditference in our posiiions, in 
religious m;itteis we can ni et on ilie same ground. 

Jenk. {lightly). Y( s ; we push lie t^ame ariicles ! I mean, {solemnli/) 
we laioriii ihe !«ame vineyiird. 

Gr^'ANT. Have you seen liie piece of j)late 1 

Jenk. Yes-; ii's several pieces of p'ate. It's all right I 

Grant {< side). Tlien ihey have received my cheque. 

Jenk. Here is ihe list, of subscribers, {i-eads f^-om paper) "Subscribers 
to ti.e tesiimonial to be presented to the Honorable Digby Grant De 
Chaperon, Esq., J. P., as a slight mark of approval and a token of the 
sincere regard in vvliich he is held by the vast Ixilk of his admiring 
counirymen, for his courage, firmness, patriotism, and honor. Children 
of the Vassalwick Sunday-school, four pounds three-and-ninepence ; 
the master, one-aiid-sixpence ; mistress, one shilling. Balance of pro- 
ceeds from an amateur performance at the Va.ssalwick Harmony Hall, 
per Lieutenant Colonel Balansay, one ])ound two and tenpence." Mrs. 
Jenkins says tha-t money comes from the Pit of Tophet, rather than the 
pit of the hall. "Mrs. Edgertong, fonr-and-sevenpence ; Miss Edgeitong 
two-and-sixpence ; Miss Alexandra Albertina Edgertong, (aged four 
years) one shilling; Mrs. Watertank, ten-and-sixpence. {emphatically) 
From a Great Admirer of the Parliamentary career of the Hon. Digby 
Grant De Chaperon, a cheque on Messrs. Glyn and Co, for eighty 
pounds ! " 

Grant. Dear me ! who can that be ? Can you guess % 

Jenk. Ahem ! I think I can, but not satisfactorily. 

Grant. Who do you mean? 

Ji:nic No one, only its damn- — hem ! wonderfully strange who thinks 
so much of you as that! 

Grant. Do you think ipy agents know 1 

Jenk. No — only I saw old Potts wink at Parmer and say that there 
was no man in tiie w(u*',d who enlertdned sucii a high opinion of you as 
tlio per&o:i who sent that cheque. (Grant rises and expresses pain) What's 
the matter? 

GiJANT. The old com[)laint ! IM go anions tlie childr ii of the scho.-l 
I founded, their gratitude is what 1 I ke i'> iiear < xp es.sed aroimd h,e. 

Jenk Look out for a crickei bail in your eye. oi a hoop against your 
leg. {Exit Grant, l. 3 e. Jrnkins nt-^ l. c- front) \\\ W,k over my 
speecl). '"Dear Biotiier.s — Wlien a shiuinci 1 ght appears amonu you, 
you should hasien to do liini h.)Uor, {uninielligtb e) urn — um — um ! " 

Enter, R. 2 E.. Jack Wyatt and Deecie. 

Jack. Pretty but prim ! Nature in stays and high-heeled boots. Old 



ACT III. 29 

Mother Nature made into a Girl of the Period. Nothing but the trees 
iefi <'is old Father Adam saw ihem. 

DEii. At it again ! You've chosen a pretty place to do your growl 
hi! 

Jack. Aristocrat, avaunt ! 

Jenk {nside). Tliat's tlie old way — I never could tell whether they 
were j kiiiir 01' noi. (rises) 

Jack {'o Deecib) The proprietor — not a very dignified looking per- 
son— a>\ fully solemn— or else the family nnderiaker. 

Jexk {lauyhs loudly). Ha. ha, ha! 

Jack. Why, it is oar Mr. Jpjikins! 

Jknk Glad to sre you! {shakes hands with DEECiii: nnd 5 kck.) 

Jack. We have been exi-ei-ting a call from you. 

Jenk. T ln^ fact is, 1 liave < xperienced a small change 

Df,e. I wish I ex|)eiience(l a gieat deal of it 

Jack. I see. 

Jexk. Ai.d wlien a co< katoo— as I may express myself— becomes a 
rook, ( ' crow " mny be substituted in America) he is rather shy of his 
fi^atliers at lirs^ 

Jack. " 'Tis not iliis iukv c'oak ' 

Jenk. Ho, l.o! 

Dri2. I like to meiH a jolly cockatoo at ;iny tiiiie, even without isny 
fenllieis. 

Ja K. Do you ive liere ? 

Je.\k. Of;- \ oiidet — Mis. .Jenkins followed the shepherd down liere. 

Jack. Tuc shepherd ? H^ve you got a farm. 

Jenk. No ! The siiepherd is the gent she used to sii under. You 
don't understand. 

Dee. Noi exactly. I can understnid Mrs. Jenkins' sitiin^ mi h-r any 
one, but 1 pity the gentleman who would have to sit und -r Mrs. Jen- 
kins 

Jenk. He is the pastor. 

■Iack. On, it's clearer, now. So you followed him down here ] 

Jknk. Yes, he came all the way from London. They offered him an 
extra one hiindied pounds a-year. 

Dee. I iiave come down all the way from London for a great deal 
less than til. It. 

Jenk. Th ■ shepherd is a good fellow— jolly — {laughing, but abruptly sup- 
presses his laughter) ho, ho— hem ! He talked to rue as I never before 
heard anyone talk. 

Jack. And Mrs. Jenkins? 

Jenk. Sue talked 

Dice. As I never before' heard anyone talk! 

Jenk. He pievail-ed, and I i)ui off the Old Man. 

Dke. You had an appoiiitment with him 7 

Jrnk. You d(m"t understand. He made me see what an unmitigated 
scamp I had lieen — witliout anyone knowing i — and made a shining 
light of me. 

Jack Mo e like a dark Inntern, 

Jenk. And now 1 am an elder, {looks very sober.) 

Jack. More lik- a cypress. 

Dke. How do you 1 ke it ? 

Jknk. It's a litile rough at first, but you'll like it when you get used 
to ii. it's not such .slow fun as you imagine. The sliephetd is i jolly 
fellow, and says many a good thing — a sort of M Her- J^e — in black I 
tha;'.s all. He said of me at our last Mutual Comfort ^\oev.\vj, — {i wmkles 
hi4 eye$ cunnmgly) he says : You used to travel in the ways of vice — but 



30 TWO ROSES. 

now you walk in the paths of virtue. I wish you'd join us. I'd let you 
in at trade pr\ce — {pause) I mean, I would introduce you. What brought 
you here ? NoL invited to the tele ] 

Jaok. No. 

Der. I came down to tune tlie piimos, and Jack came with me o 
have a change of air. 

Jknk. Do you know who Mr. De Chaperon is? 

Der. No! 

Jack. I know he is a stuck-up, conceited prig. 

Jenk Then take my advice — you had better go away. 

Jack. Wiu' 7 

Jenk. So that Mr. De Chnperon won't see you. 

Jack. Why shouldn't he? 

Jenk. Verily.it is prudent to be shy in the tents of the stranger! 
(ffoes L.) 

Enter, L 8 E.. GrANT. 

Grant {to Jenkins). Ye.s, I think ihe [)!a:e very pretty; only I think 
the word benevolence might iiave bc-eii mule much more of, arid — and — 
(sees Jack nud Deecie ) 

Jack Mr. Grant! 

Dee. Giviiit!* 

Grant. My name, sir, is De Chaperon ! Tiiis is unmanly, sir. 

Jack. I am not aware why you apply such a term to my proceedings, 
but 1 Jeel that, under the circumstances, I owe you an explanation. 

Grant. I do not want any excuses. Go ! or my sei vants shall remove 
you. Where is that fellow with the corkscrew, (tip l.) 

Enter, l. 2 E., Mhs. Jknkixs. 

Mrs. Jenkins. Oli, E iwaid, they want me to wait upon the charity chil- 
dren nitli buns and lemonade, when, von know I came to serve tiie ladies 
with cake and lea. Oii, Mr. De Chaffeiinii! this is indeed an honor. 

Grant {'/side). I wish that woman could be hired to hold her tongue. 
{up L.) 

Mrs. J Oh ! T declare, there's a number of young ladies with hara- 
ranrs — pl.iyin'i at blacksmiths! What! my gracious! 1 never 1 Mr. 
Deecie and Mr Wyau! all old Iriends together ! 

Jack. Yes, my dear. 1 was lelling them of the change which I have 
experienced. 

Mrs. J. He may look dull, but he beams 

Jfnk. 1 e.Khibit the mil i effulgence of the glowworm. f 

Mrs. J. We are all worms. 

Jenk. But we don't all glov/. 

Enter, l 3 E., Lottie, folunvvig n hnll with croquet -mallet. The ball is 
slo pc4 by Grant. 

Lottie Cioqu6'd! {uiih surprise) I d clare ! Our Mrs. Jenkins I 
[comes to c. front. Exit Gi^axt, in n rage, l. 3 R. Drecir exi's, n. 2 E. 
Jack stamis Kp -r., facing 2 e., with his back to the fsk-vuse at c, so thai 

* Deecie. Jack. Grant. Jenkins. 

u. c. c. L. c. 

t Jenkins. Mrs. Jknkins. Deecie. Jack. 

B. c. c. t. d 



ACT III. 



31 



Lottie does not see Jm face) Ah ! Mr. Jenkins, how pleasant to have you 
here— I'll ^how yon my peLs — my gold-fish — come! They're so tame — 
theie's one who will come and bite at my finger. 

Jenk. So will shirks. Come along and show me. {they stand at o,^ 
by the L. side ofjish-fonse.) 
' Lot. Who is Lhn,'. rude person ? {meaning Jack.) 

Jejjk. That? Hem! J don't know. 

Lot. Perhaps he knows which is the best-looking side of him. Now 
you'll see him come when I call, {very tenderly) Jack, Jack! (Jack turns 

shnrply.) 

Jack. LoUi*^! {Lottie foints, and J Ei;K\i!S supports her ) 

Lot. {revives). Then father has sent for you. Oh, how good of him 1 
Don'i you scir till I return ! Ida, Ida ! {staggers with emotion) I can't go 
al»)ne. 

Jenk. {gnllantly). I'll wme with you. 

Lot. I leel so giddy, {she puis the Itammer of croquet mallet on Jen- 
KfNs' shoulder, the 'pole hcmg oi}er her own, so that she can pull htm after her 
as by a boat-hook, and he hopping like a crow, they exewd, l. 2 e.) "Yes, 
said the rook, with a sanctified look— I'll come with you ! " (c//l. 2 e., 
M;t7/« Jenkins.) ^. , . 

Mrs. J. {horrified). Miss Charlotte— Edward ! Did you ever see such 
boldness ? {rum of, l. 3 e.) 

Enter, L. 2 E., Grant. 

Grant. What! you have not gone yet ? ., ^ ^ „ 

Jack. You have told that poor girl that you would send forme. Be- 
ware how you trifle with her young life, or you and I will stand beside 

Grant. Don't harrow a father's feelings ! {flourishes handkerchief about 
his eyes) I— I forgive you, but go ! (Jack turns to R.) 

Enter r., proscenium e., Fornival, with his Uack valise. 

For. Dear me, Mr. Wyatt, this is a surprise. I am glad to see you. 
{shakes hands with Wyatt) You are not going yet 1 

Grant. I insist, sir, upon your leaving the premises !* 

For. Dear me I I would ask him to stay, if I were you— take my ad- 
vice as a professional man. Why not let him stay ? 

Grant. I do not choose to— to 

Fur. Hera ! There are many things one does not choose—the gout, 
for instance-but we have to submit to them all the same. Lft me in- 
termediate. Mr. Wyatt, I am sure that Mr. De Chaperon will request 
you, will desire you to remain here with your friend 

Jack. I cannot consent , 

For. Pooh, pooh ! You will stay-I ask you to see me he e. 

Jack. Ah ! that's a very different thing I vviU wait. [^^»^ «• J e. 

Fur. Will you allow me to sit down 7 {he and G^^^ ViL '^mA eh^ 
between them, Qrk^t facing Furnival on his //O How is ^^^^^^""'^^^dlu 

Grant. Very bad! It has been in my family for years! {pioudly 

%t. yXI^how of many very bad things that have been in families 
for years. What have yon there ! {points to bottles o n tme,} ^ 

♦Jack. Furnival. Grant. 
B. c. c. ^' c. 



32 TWO ROSES. 

Grant. Bnndy! {irritatedly) but the slupid fellow hasn't brought 
the corkscrew for tlie selizer. 

Fur. It's best without. Try it ! (Deecie is heard at irregular intervals 
tuning piano, R. 2 E.) Will you haveacigMT? good, I can reconiineiid 
tliem. The smoke won't hurt the green curtains overhead, (laughs) I 
didn't do you a positive injury when I gave you this estate ? 

Grant. Oh, it's very well. 

Fur. Let me see, it's nearly twelve monlhs since I came to you and 
told you you were heir to ten thousand a-year 1 

Grant {carelessly). About that, yes. 

For. Light your cigar. {Ihey smoke) I told you then that there was 
but one person, if in existence, between you and the estate — but if in 
existence he couldn't be found. 

Grant. Yes. 

Fur. Best have some brandy. (Grant drinks) He is fonu'l. (Grant is 
startled, but gradually recovers himself, his hands shake, however, and he can- 
not speak for a second) You bear it very well — very well. Take some 
more brandy. 

Grant {eagerly). Does anyone know of this beside yourself? 

¥\5ix. Weil, not cinpletely. 

Grant {meaningly). Why should they know 7 {Fvsn^wxi. rises and but- 
tons his coat as if to go. Deecie strikes a few notes on the jjiano) Mr. De 
Chaperon, you have mistaken your man. You shall learn that you can- 
not insult me. 

Grant {rises, .soothingly, and makes Furnival resume his seat, coaxingly). 
No, nn ! You don t understand. 

Fur. Hem ! I think I do. 

Grant. No, no I 

For. Ti'.e man who makes such a proposition deserves the loss that 
threatens him. 

Grant. Sit down, my dear sir, sit" down. You mistake me — T meiely 
meant that you i eed not let the person know yet—not so suddenly. I 
will make it known ! Let me hear tlie particulars. 

Fur. Very well, and I will be short, as I am not a good hand at telling 
a stor,v. Let me see. The head of the family, the late Richard De 
Chaperon, was a very dissipated man, and shoitly before he married, lie 
had, as we poli-tely say. accomplished the ruin of a serviint giil, hv 
name Jane I)ee|)sea, and the result was a child. But a terrible judg- 
ment fell upon that offsj:;ing, as well as upon that of Mrs. De Chaperon, 
whose boy was also i^ted with blindness. Too ill to attend to li. r 
own babe, Mr^. De Chaperon had to c<Misign it to a nurse. And then 
cnme jorward .lane Deepsea, who offered herself to take caie of the 
child. Mr. De Cha|)oror, was weak and co:.sen'ed. Some time after his 
w fe's deaih, he went to Jane's cottage, and was shown a cradle, where- 
in lay two children, of ihe same age. He asked for his boy— when she 
coolly told hiui to lake his cIkuc)- her babe should be h»ir to all, or 
have nothing. He c ose — and chose the wrong one. Shortly after, it 
died, and when he followed it to tlie family vault, the estate' and title 
came to you. I nee t not detail to you. my researches for V.i<^ r.'al hnr — 
suffice it,, that ihe i ame of Deecie — a singular one — struck me, and I 
followed up the clue, and I find that supposition was right. 

Grant. Ah ! 

i vii. Yes, you bear it very well. 

Grant. This is a great lelief to my mind. 

Fur. Dear me ! I am only waiting now for the proofs to be completed. 
My clerk is waiting without to go to Nottingham in the morning. 
. Grant. Oh, no, let him go to-night, by express. I will pay all ex- 



ACT III. 33 

penses. (rises) Come with me, and I will give you a little cheque, {ffoing 
B., with Fdrnival.) 

Enter, l. 3 e , Lottie and Ida. Thej/ run down to r., and take Grant, 
each by an arm. 

Lottie. I want you to forgive Ida for not believing yon. I am so 
happy Itecaiise you were so good as to send for Jack! You dear old 
fox of a papa — to be sly about it, and not even let me knovv what you i 
had (lone. V 

Grant. I am busy. 

Lot. Oh, it's Mr. Furnival I I don't mind him ! I'd tell him where 
to get a rose off my tree, only I am afraid he would charge meten-and- 
sixnence for " instrucLions,"* 

FuK. I know wliere to get one, and I will keep it for " costs." {goes 
up R. and gets rose) 

Ida. I wish I had not disbelieved you when I reproached you because 
I knew not that Mr. Wyatt was here. 

Grant. I do not like to be annoyed. 

Lot. Don't be angry 'th Ida. I am sure she is soriy for having 
doubled you. 

Ida. F()r<.'ive mo ! 

Grant. Yes. I forgive you — only, let me go away. I tell you I am 
busy. This is folly 1 Lotiie, lim^ is precious, {impatiently) Lei ra? go! 

[Exit, R. pros. E., with Fdrnival. 

IiOT. (admiringly). Idn, ain't papa a good man I 

Jr»A. I fiiiily Id'dize him ! 

Lot. Don't largh. I think he is just like the man the poet speaks of. 

Ida AViint poet? Caleb 1 

Lot. No ! a real poet ! one that's dead. He says, he is one who 
"dues good by stealth, and blushes to find it fame." How often pa 
must blush at the good he does. 

Ida. I don't know. 

Lot. Let's go and find Jack. Oh ! isn't it heavenly to be able to say 
Jack without doing wionL^ 1 

Ida. Here he comes, {i hey- hide, c, behind vase.) 

Enter, Jack, r. 2 b. 

Jack. Nobody here ? 

Ida (comes forward). Boo! A.\u\ yon irlSh'cwpd.'i (putt her hands over 
Jack's eyea.) 

Jack. Wio's that? 

Ida. Me— I mean, I ! (c, on left of Jack.) 

Jack. Nevermind! a g-ood l.eait, is bt-uer l!i m good grammar any 
1. !.i\ [takes both o/ Ida's hands tn his) I never lliougiit to see these two 
\. i e \vi;ches ag:iin. 

i DA Wa.sn'l iL kind of pa to send for you 1 

Jack. Oii, very ! 

Ida. You don't care to ask about Lottie — she was so very faithless ! 
not like the strange lady who used to call at your place and make you 
P'e.sen!s. 

Jack. Why, how do you know 1 

Ida. Lottie was false and broke your heart, and you can never, never 
love again. 

Jack. You are a witch" indeed. 

* The exoesa of law expense in England is incredibljr great. 



34 TWO ROSES. 

Ida. C'ltrt von Lue>s who she \va-< ? Do yon fancy she was some 
princess eiifiiiio, (mI or \ on ? ^Vllflt a v;iii) fellow y n i e I 

.Iack. I am su^f yon .,!p a wjicli now — il was — (Lottie pretotds lo fting 
s(n>i,- u-^iiirr out. <f ihf vase into Jack's fuce. She coni'x for word <ivd hides 
h-hmd \T)\, pOiyJidlij) Lo.iie! 

liO'i'. Don't leL ami Loncli me! {she runs 'oJack who embraces her) 
Go on, yuu Miiy. {lets him kiss her. Hxil Ida, plea-rd. r. 2 e. The piano 
vo iuvgcr sounds off r., as at intervals he/ore) Oh, ii's >such a long lirae 
since I iasL saw you. 

Jack, A most a year. 

Lot. Til t's sucii a \i>ug time to wait when some one who loves you 
is not by you. 

Jack. Aixl wh^n yon aie idle. 

Lot. No, sir. Ida and i have not been idle — we have worked a lot of 
slippers for the curate. 

Jack. Happy do-r to be in your shoes ! 

Lot. Then we belonged to the Dorcas Society. Papa does not like 
us to be idle. We made little fliinrel clodies for the infnnts— only we 
made them so small that we couldn't get Mrs Liirirs baby into one. 

Jack. What a happy baby! 

Lot. And when we did get him in we c< ildn't ge' him out! {horri- 
fied) We had to cut him out like opening a paicpi. 

Jack. So you kill babies— I mean, time, in these ways 1 

Lot. Yes: and tlien there's the children in the school. 

Jack You are one with them. 

Lot. {proudly). I am a teacher. They're plouuhboys— such big 'uns ! 
seventeen and eighteen yea"3 old, but they're so fond of me. 

Jack. They wou d bo at that nge. 

Lot. They're so obediput — they do just r.s I bid tl em. 

Jack. You have lo bid hioh ilx'n. 

Lot. I have only losay, "Tom Bullock, who coiqneied the Britons?" 
and he to say, {tmitata country speech) '* Noaboody !" foi- me to order 
Idui to the bottom of the clnss — when {surprised and admiring herself) he 
goes! F«» woul dn't ! 

Jack. No I if I hnd answered in that way li a (juestion, I should ex- 
pect to have a medal. 

Lot. Tlipu I have got all my Jacks to attend to. 

.Jack. All! have I got rivals'? 

Lot. Such a lo; — one's a maie I 

■Jack A mayor — an old party 1 

L'>T. Four ye.irs. Such a nicn one at a gallop. 

Jack. .\ 2<>o 1 d mcer. Military 1 

Lot Been in the Lancers I One comes to eat bread out of my hand. 

Jack. Poor devil I 

Lot. No, rich — m.T^lp of nion \v. Here he i:! i they go up to vase) all 
in "lilt armor ! like a crusader after iiifidel flies. Isn't he a beauty 1 

Jack. Ye.s. 

Lot. And don't he look stupid ] 

Jack. Some beauties are. {goes r.) I see you have got the old rose- 
trees ? 

Lot. {go's k ). Yes. You must have one. 

Jack. One flower is broken. 

Lot. {sadly and a little ashamed). Yes — I broke it trying to make it 
grow like Ida's 

Jack. Ah I you have the sin of all Eve's diU2[liters. You are not 
content with anything unless it is after annth r's pattern. So (Uxvs 
many an honest love wither away and be brokeU; because it giew a lit- 



ACT III. 36 

tie ouo of the comroon run See, it has wilted— it will die on the half- 
parted stem. 

Lot. Nay, pick it. It is hke a kiss— it is a pily to waste it ! 

[ lliey exeunt, lovingly ^ R. p. E. 

E>iter, R 2 E., Ida, on Deecie's arm, to c. 

Dercie. So you doi.'t piay chess now ? 

Ida. No ; I iiave locked up ;ill my men. 

Dee What a cniel lillle jailor it is ! 

Ida. How kind of Jack to biino you here. 

Dee 1 i)ioiiThL.Jack. 

loA. Oh. ih<>n it, was you that papa invited? 

Dee. SoiMeLiiiiiL' lliai way. 

Ida. H is !> i|' •- -iskpd yon to slay ? 

Dee. No -hm he wiil. 

Ida WiH yoi) .'<tiy ions? 

Dee. I don'i know. Would yon stay long if J asked you to stay with 
me, nnd I li;id a pio|)i ny like this ? A 1 Itie wiiile7 

Ida Oil, a lonu wliile. But iiow would you get such a plr-ce T Not 
by .siorv tel litis 7 

Dee No I 1 should have to pull a very long bow indeed! 

Ijia. Dy ployinii on the orsan ? 

Deb It, won d have to be ilie oi-gan of benevolence then ! A good 
many (onun s iiuve l)een ni;ide in ihaL way. 

Ida. Flow then / 

Dkb. By this, {nh/nvs punio-funers kry lorappedrottnd with a cheque.) 

Ida. {xmiles). Wiiai s that,? 

Dee My talisman. 

Ida M\ sterions ag .in. How you fiishten me. 

Dee. Tlien lil friiihten some one else. Here's your father coming. 
Leave me to the conflict with him. 

Ida. I'll so tease Lottie about Jack. [Exit, r. d. b. 

Enter, L. 3 e., Grant. 

Grant [coming clown, l ). There oucht to be some way to get out of 

it. {at table, L ) That fellow hasn't brought the corkscrew yet ! {furious,) 

Def.. {cnliniy). Knock the neck off. {holds out tuntng-key) Will that do ? 

(c) 

Grant 1 didn't know you were here. 

Dee. No ! I don't enter everywhere witli a flourish of trumpets. 

Grant. I am pleased to see you. We h ive been too Ions parted. 

Dee. To > long, I fear, to meet on footing of perfect friendship. 

Grant. Mr. Deecie, I entertain for you a feeling of clo>e reg;ird 

Dee. So clo.se that nothin ; kindly could come between us. Proceetl. 

Grant. I often noticed in d.iys gone by, that you had a liking tor my 
daughter Ida -I thought then - 1 cheiished the hope that you would 
some day be one of my family. 1 also ihougiit, C ileb— I say Caleb 

Dee. Yes, while there is a doubt of luy n one. Caleb is best. 

Grant. Hem ! I say, I thought that my daunhler had a— a liking for 
you. I am a father, but I may say that Ida is a pride to a parent's 
heart 

Dee. Yes, a blind man even can see her merits. 

Grant. I should be glad to aid you in your wishes 

Deb. Would you have said this balf-an-hour ago— would 3'ou Lave 



36 T^^'^' HOSKS. 

received me as an old fV.iiid, ii ii lud imt l>p'-f, for {he coniuiuiiication 
made to ><ui meanwliile 1 

Gkant. My (lerir >ir, if you could spo niv fac • 

br.K. I cau'L. But 1 can //em ! If Mr. Fuiuiv.il had been of briba- 
Ve siufT, I feai- we siioiildu L be mo>'iiiiy so afl'pcliotialely. 

GiiANT. My ouiy desire is to proinoLe liariDony. 

Dee Tli;ii s why you are so anxious to have your pianos tuned, 

Grant. Eh, what*'? 

Dek. Take the seUz^r. Here's ihe instrunient to knock the neck off. 
And wiiii it lak" this-(/7??7r.v dirque) you may want it now. {imitntei 
Grant's to'i-c nud m"n»er of Myying Ih': same words at end of Act I) A Ut- 
ile chcq'i./:. [fjoes ifjt, n.) 

Grant. Confound hi- quick ear 1 lie knows all ! {'o -l) 

Music by a bmss b'nid, out. of tune, off L , " See the Conquering Hero 
CM\\e><,' onil ' Hill to il)e Chief" Enfer, a u. E, Lottie, Jack 
ond Ida Enin . l. u. e., Mrs Jenkins, Lady Gde5.ts, Policemkn, 
Servants, ovc ivitli silver sotncc on a c2cshwn,3ESK\j!i». Plodghboys, 
o)/d Countrymen slanU in l. u. e., kepi back by Police. Cease 
unistc. 

Ida {Io Deecie, r. c, front). I wish you c>tu!(i ^t^• li.t- p )lice band. 

Der I do noi care lo hc"r it ', 

Crowd [clieers). Hooray ! 

Jknk. Mv dear friends 

Crowd Hear, hear ! 

Jf.nk. Witen a shining light appears among yon, vou should do him 
hon..r! 

Cu' WD. Hooray' 

Jenk '■ iiddresKDKj GnkS'v]. Sir. as honorable secretary of theV.is.sal- 
uick Insijiuie, 1 liave been thought the fit peison to present to you this 
p ec<^ lit pliUe. (ancovers j)l lie.) 

Crowo. HuiMMy! 

Jknk I will real you from tlsp testinisjnial ; " Presonted to the Hon. 
Diiihy G am De Chaper'-n. J. P . of VassTlwick Granite, by his well- 
wisli IS, w o h.:ve watche<l lii^ career as a public m.m, disi rmuisii -d 
for many be:ioV(.leiil atts." Sir. I b -g \ou to ac<e[)i this as .t flight 
ti.»kei! of tl e e.sieem in whic i V'u are held by your admiiiuu c 'umry- 
iu<^n ! 

Crowd. Hooray! (Sr-uvA.v ; .^ .'/://> Grant to stand up in c/i'itr, up c, 

f"C'»y L.) 

GiiANT. Tl i> wiih 1 lea.^ure. atid in deep emotion that I accent this 

Vfiv bonuiiiul and flaiiering gift {band oj^ L. plcyx : " We Wou'i ^o 

lioine ti 1 Moriiiiu."') 
Je.nk Sto;) 111 It band ! [Policeman ''.'•//« l. r. r. O-nse masie, 

(iuANT. L fli s au<l gentleman, ii is w.ih ]eeiili^.^ ^ I >;ve[) ( moaon and 

p'^'asuit' ;ii;it I ;.c.c pL tills gift 

Crowd. H o .iv ! 

(iRANT. 1 p.m ; l.oul to le.iVt- 

PLOUdunoY. Hooray' ( Poi.icf.man seizes him and pushes him of, 

L. U. E.) 

Lot. Poor Tom Bidlock ! 

Grant. I say I am about to leave you — out I am suie I contide you 
to one who is worthy to be my successor. I have been long engagCvd 
in researches for the long-lost heir 

Crowd. Hooray ! 

Gra.vt. Bui at last I have been successful/ The last ])roof will be 



ACT III. 37 

shortly at hand, and I relinquish my place to him who is justly entitled 
to it. 

Crowd. Hooray ! 

Grant. Your new master is here ! {points to Deecir) Good-bye! 

Crowd {joyfully). Hooray I hooray ! 

Ida. What, Caleb ! What doe.s it all mean 7 

Lot. I don't understand. 

Jack. I think I do- For one, Ida won't have io leave here, {the 
Crowd exeunt, l. u. e. Mps. Jenkins, Jenkins, Grant, Jack, Ida und 
Lottie are left on singe. Mrs. Jenkins end Jenkins «Y buck. Grant 
L. Ida and Deecie c. Jack and Lottie r. c.) 

Ida. This place is yours 1 

Dke. All the.se broad lands and that house are mine — and an English- 
man's house — you know the adage. 

Ida. a castle ! No ! I'm not won by the castle, {embraces Deecie.) 

Grant {to Jenkins). Jenkins, you see that group ] That, sir, tliai is 
the dream of my life ! {emotion.) 

Lot. {to Deecie). You will not part us ? 

Dee. No ! you shall live togefclier like twin roses on one stalk. 

Jack. One like the rose in whom June with July is blended, the other 
as a "May with pure December snows, unlike in all, but yet alike in this, 
they are Two Roses. 

All form, ptctiire. 

Mrs. Jenkins.* *Jenkins. 
Jack.* *Lottie. Ida.* *Deecie. 



*Grant. 



SLOW CURTAIN. 



STAGE DIRECTIONS. 

R. means Right of Stage, facing the Audience ; L. I.elt ; C. Centre ; R. C. Right 
of Centre ; L. C. Left of Centre. D. F. Door in the Flat, or Scene running across 
the back of the Stage ; C. D. F. Centre Door in the Flat ; R. D. F. Right Door in 
the Flat ; L. C. F. Left Door in the Flat ; R. D. Right Door ; L. D. Left Door ; 1 E. 
First Entrance; 2 E. Second Entrance; U. E. Upper Entrance ; 1, 2 or 3 G. First 
Secoud or Third Groove. 

R. R. C. C. L. C. L. 

BS" The reader is supposed to be upon the stase facing the audience. 



38 TWO BOSES. 



smopsis. 

A PLAnrLT furnished sitting-room Is used through the first Act, and Mr. Diqbt 
Grant is seated in it at a table, reading letters, when Mrs. Cupps enters in a very- 
angry mood, and asks Grant to settle her little bill. After a pretty angry discus- 
sion, the gentleman not only placates the lady, but so works upon her by flattering 
her weak points, that she agrees to wait for the money, and actually consents to 
lend him twenty pounds. Ida and Lottie, the two roses, appear outside of win- 
dow, leaning over a white and red rose-tree. They encircle each other's waist with 
their arms. As Digby Grant looks at them, he says it almost reconciles him to 
the burden of supporting them. The young ladies come in, and Mr. Digby Grant, 
their father, seeing by their sad looks that something unpleasant has occurred, 
catechizes them, and learns that Lottie has quarrelled with Jack Wyatt, and has 
Bent him back his ring because he had the impudence to send them black fichus 
to wear. Digby is indignant, and remonstrates with Lottie, as Wy-att is a rising 
man and an eligible suitor. He proceeds to tell them that a note must be v.-ritten 
to Wy-att explanatory of the misconstruction, etc. This is done. Caleb Deecie, 
who is blind, now enters, and after teasing the girls a bit, gives letter from Jack 
to Lottie. Then after a sparkling dialogue, Lottie writes the exculpatory letter 
to Jack Wyatt. Here "Our Mr. Jenkins" enters, and after giving Digby, 
Grant a bottle of sherry, he contrives to give the young ladies some dry goods, 
under the subterfuge that they are samples left over. Deecie comes in and joins 
in a "talk" full of sparklets of wit. Jack Wyatt reinforces the party. Jack 
and Ida soon are as loving as twin clover buds. Jenkins asks Digby Grant to 
his intended wedding ; the latter intimates that as he spends his income on his 
daughters, he has no fitting apparel. This puts Our Mr. Jenkins in mind that he 
has some "sample" suits over, and off he starts for them. They all leave, and 
DiQBY Grant returns, meeting Jack. Digby- tries to borrow ten pounds, but is 
amusingly " bluffed '■ by Jack before he leaves. Mr. Furnival enters, and after 
bracing Digry's nerves with sherry to bear the great news that he has to communi- 
cate, informs him that he is heir to an estate of ten thousand a year, and that 
thinking he, Grant, might need in ready money a couple of thousand pounds, 
that sum had been placed in bank subject to his drafts, and a check-book is 
handed him. Instantly Grant's manner changes. He becomes swollen with 
pride, and when his daughters, with all their friends, enter, he pompously estimates 
the money worth of the various favors bestowed on him, and gives to each person 
a check for the presumed indebtedness. Jack is indignant, Lottie and Ida 
grieved, and the others astonished, as the act ends. 

The second Act occurs in the sitting room of Jack Wyatt. Mr. and Mrs. Jen- 
kins, Jack and Deecie have an amusing scene, which is interrupted by the en- 
trance of FuRNiVAii, who has some law business with Jack. They all adjourn to 
the tea-room. Mrs. Jenkins enters, ushering in Lottie, who has brought a pre- 
sent of some silver spoons for Jack, and while she is peering into the tea-room to 



TWO ROSES. 39 

get a glance at him, she is startled at hearing her father's voice, and hides behind 
window curtains. Grant and Ida enter with Mrs. Jenkins. Grant rather im- 
periously tells her to sa}' to Mr. Wyatt that a gentleman wishes to see him. Then 
he chides Ida for bringing him to see Jack. She replies with spirit, that if she had 
been in Lottie's place, she would have married Jack in spite of all— he being 
" worth fiftj' of the noodles that now surrounded us." Jack enters with a lamp, 
turning up which throws the light so that he sees Grant, but not Ida. Jack asks 
Grant to what cause he is to attribute the honor of his visit. The former says he 
came because he, Jack, had meanly sent a letter to Lottie after he had ordered 
all acquaintance to stop. Jack denies it. A violent war of words follow, which 
is on the eve of being a personal struggle. Lottie suddenly springs towards them. 
Grant is surprised, but Jack does not see her, and she escapes without his know- 
ing that she had been present. Grant makes a lame apology to Jack, and the act 
ends. 

The third Act shows the handsome gardens and country mansion of Grant, 
who has grown purse-proud, hypocritical and gouty since he has grown rich. 
Deecie is engaged to tune the piano, and Jack accompanies him to the mansion 
of De Chaperon, whose name Grant has assumed with the estate. Grant 
has assumed all the airs of a great landlord, frowning on this and smiling on that. 
Lottie and Ida are, however, unspoiled by the lavish display of wealth— they are 
the same warm-hearted, pure-minded, ingenuous girls as at first. When they meet 
Deecie and Jack, they openly express their delight ; blessing their papa for his 
kindness. For they think that he has sent for their lovers. They are soon unde- 
ceived, however, for Mr. Farnival arrives to strip the jackdaw of the peacock's 
feathers, though not before Mr. Grant has severely lectured the two poor young 
men for their impudence in aspiring to the hands of the daughters of the " Hon- 
orable Digby Grant De Chaperon, Esq., J. P." The attorney proceeds to tell the 
gentlemen that it has been discovered that Deecie is in reality the son of the de- 
ceased De Chaperon, and consequently the real heir to the estate. The piece 
winds up with the union of the Two Roses to their deserving suitors. 



ETHIOPIAN AND COMIC DRAMA. 



" Let those laugh now who never laughed before, 
And those who always laughed now laugh the more." 

Nothing so thorough and complete in the way of Ethiopian and Comic Drama* 
ia." oer been printed as those that appear in the following list. Not only are the 
plotfe excellent, the characters droll, the incidents funny, the language humorous, 
but aU the situations, by-play, positions, pantomimic business, scenery, and tricks 
are sc plainly set down and clearly explained, that the merest novice could put 
any of them on the stage. Included in this catalogue are all the most laughable 
and effective pieces of their class ever produced. 

^*^ In ordering, please copy the figures at the commencement of each play, 
which indicate the number of the piece in " De Witt's Ethiopian and Comic 
Drama." 

J^" Any of the following plays sent, postage free, on receipt of prico— 
15 Cents Each. Address, 

CLINTON T. DE WITT, 

JVb. 33 Rose Street, JSTew York. 



The figures In the columns indicate the number of characters — M. maft^ 



W. female. 



No. 
73. 
107. 

43. 

79. 



108. 

35. 

41. 
12, 
53. 

m. 

110. 

111. 

80. 
04> 



M. F, 

African Box, burlesque, 2 scene 5 
Africanus Bluebeard, musical 

Ethiopian burlesque 6 2 

Baby Elephant, sketch, 2 scene 7 1 
Barney's Courtship, musical 

interlude, 1 act ' 1 1 

Bad Whiskey, sketch. 1 scene. 2 1 
Black Cnap from Whitechapel, 

negro piece 4 

Black Chemist, sketch, 1 scene 3 
Black-ey'd William, sketch, 2 

scenes 4 1 

Big Mistake, sketch, 1 scene.. 4 

Bogus Indian, sketch, 4 scenes 5 2 
Bogus Talking Machines (The) 

farce, 1 scene . ■ 4 

Bruised and Cured, sketch, 1 

scene 2 

Charge of the Hash Brigade, 

Irish musical sketch 2 2 

Coal Heaver's Revenge, negro 

sketch, 1 scene 6 

Cremation, sketch, 2 scenes... 8 1 

Daguerreotypes, sketch. 1 scene 3 
Daiuon and Pythias, burlesque, 

2 scenes 5 1 

Darkey's Stratagem, 1 act — 3 1 
De Black Magician, Ethiopian 

comicality, i scene 4 2 

Deeds of Darkness, Ethiopian 

extravau'anza, 1 act 6 1 

Draft (The), sketch, 1 act. ... 6 

Dutchinau's Ghost, 1 seese... 4 1 



No. M. P. 

95. Dutch Justice, sketch, 1 scene 11 9 

67. Editor's Troubles, farce, 1 8ce. 6 
4. Eh ? What is It ? sketch 4 1 

98. Elopement (The), farce, 1 scene 4 1 
52. Excise Trials, sketch, 1 scene. 10 1 
25. Feliow that Looks Like Me, in- 
terlude, 1 scene — 2 * 

51. Fisherman's Luck, 1 scene S 

88. First Night (The), Dutch farce, 

1 act 4 a 

106. Gambrinus, King of Lager 
Beer, Ethiopian burlesqu' 2 

scenes 8 1 

83. German Emigrant (The), sketch 

1 scene . . . , 2 ^ 

77. Getting Square on the Call Boy, 

sketch, 1 scene 3 

17. Ghost (The), sketch, 1 act 2 Q 

58. Ghost in a Pawnshop, 1 scene. 4 

31. Glycerine Oil, sketch 3 C 

20. Going for the Cup, interlude.. 4 

82. Good Night's Rest, 1 scene. ..3 

86. Gripsack, sketch, 1 scene 3 

70. Guide to the Stage, sketch 3 

61. Happy Couple, 1 scene 2 1 

23. Hard Times, extravaganza, 1 

scene 5 1 

3. Hemmed In, sketch 3 \ 

48. High Jack, the Heeler, 1 scene 6 

68. Hippotheatron, sketch 9 

71. In and Out, sketch, 1 scene... 2 6 

3:3. Jealous Husband, sketch 2 1 

94. Julias, the Huoozqt, 3 Bcenea.. 7 f 



DE WITT'S ACTING PLAYS (Continued). 



No. 
144. 

34. 
137. 
111. 
119. 
165. 

48. 

32. 
164. 
109. 

85. 

87. 
143. 
189. 
163. 
154. 

63. 



15. 

46. 

51. 
184. 
108. 
188. 
169. 
130. 



140. 

115. 
2. 

57. 
104. 
112. 
185, 

84. 
117. 

171. 
14. 

t73. 
176. 

90. 
170. 

83. 
3. 

97. 

66. 

172. 

94. 

45. 
155. 

178. 

147. 
156, 

82. 
127. 

23 



Lancashire Lass, melodrama, 5 acts.l2 3 
Larkins' Love Letters, farce, 1 act . . 3 2 

L' Article 47, drama, 3 acts 11 5 

Liar (The), comedy, 2 acts 7 2 

Life Chase, drama, 5 acts 14 5 

Living Statue (The), farce, 1 act. ... 3 2 
Little Annie's Birthday, farce, 1 act. 2 4 

Little Eebel, farce, 1 act 4 3 

Little Ruby, drama, 3 acts •. ... 6 6 

Locked In, comedietta, 1 act .2 2 

Locked Tn with a Lady, sketch, 1 act. 1 1 

Locked Out, comic scene 1 2 

Lodgers and Dodgers, farce, 1 act.. 4 2 
Leap Year, musical duality, 1 act. . . 1 1 

Marcoretti, drama, 3 acts 10 3 

Maria and Magdalena, rlay, 4 acts . 8 
Marriage at Any Price, farce, 1 act. 5 
Master Jones' Birthday, farce, 1 act. 4 

Maud's Peril, drama, 4 acts 5 

Midnight Watch, drama, 1 act 8 

Milky White, drama, 2 acts 4 

Miriam's Crime, drama, 3 acts 5 

Model of a Wife, farce, 1 act 3 

Money, comedy, 5 acts.. 17 

Mr. Scroggins, farce, 1 act 3 

Mr. X., farce, 1 act 3 

My Uncle's Suit, farce, 1 act 4 

My Wife's Diary, farce, 1 act 3 

My Wife's Out, farce, 1 act. . 2 

My Walking Photo^^raph, musical 

duality, 1 act 1 

Never Keckon Your Chickens, etc., 

farce, 1 act 3 

New Men and Old Acres, vjomedy, 3 8 

Nobody's Child, drama, 3 acts 8 

Noemie, drama, 2 acts 4 

No Name, drama, 5 acts 7 

Not a Bit Jealous, farce, 1 act 3 

Not So Bad as We Seem, play, 5 acts. 14 3 

Not Guilty, drama, 4 acts 10 6 

Not Such a Fool as He Looks, drama, 

3 acts 5 4 

Nothing Like Paste, farce, 1 act 3 1 

No Thoroughfare, drama, 5 acts and 

prologue 13 6 

OflE the Stage, comedietta, 1 act. ... 3 3 
On Bread and Water, farce, 1 act... 1 2 

Only a Halfpenny, farce, 1 act 2 2 

Only Somebody, farce, 1 act 4 2 

One too Many for Him, farce, 1 act. 2 3 

£100,000, comedy, 3 acts 8 4 

Orange Bloi^soms, comedietta, 1 act. 3 3 
Orange Girl, drama, in prologue 

and 3 acts 18 4 

Ours, comedy, 3 acts 6 3 

Our Clerks, farce, 1 act 7 5 

Our Domestics, comedy farce, 2 acts 6 6 
■Our Heroes, military play. 5 acts. . .24 5 
Out at Sea, drama in prologue and 

4acts 16 5 

Overland Eoute, comedy, 3 acts — 11 5 
Peace at Any Price, farce, 1 act — 1 1 

Peep o' Day, drama, 4 acts 12 4 

Peggy Green, fane, 1 act 3 10 

Petticoat Parliament, extravaganza, 

in one act 15 24 

Photographic Fix, farce, 1 act 3 2 

A COMPIiETE 



No. M. J-. 

61. Plot and Passion, drama, 3 acts 7 2 

138. Poll and Partner Joe, burlesque, 1 

act 10 3 

Poppleton's Predicaments, farce, 13 6 

Porter's Knot, drama, 2 acts 8 2 

Post Boy, drama, 2 acts 5 3 

Pretty Horse-Breaker, farce, 1 act.. 3 10 
" " "8 



110. 

50. 

59. 

95. 
181 and 182. Queen Mary, drama, 4 acts.: 

157. Quite at Home, comedietta, 1 act. . . 5 
196. Queerest Courtship (The), comic op 

eretta, 1 act 1 

132 Race for a Dinner, farce, 1 act 10 

183. Richelieu, play, 5 acts ..16 

38. Rightful Heir, drama, 5 acts 10 

77. Roll of the Drum, drama, 3 acts 8 

13. Ruy Bias, drama, 4 acts 12 

194. Rum, drama, 3 acts 7 

195. Rosemi Shell, travesty, 1 act, 4 

scenes 6 

158. School, comedy, 4 acts 6 

79. Sheep in Wolf's Clothing, drama, 1 7 

37. Silent Protector, farce, 1 act 3 

35. Silent Woman, farce, 1 act 2 

43. Sisterly Service, comedietta, 1 act. 
6. Six Months Ago, comedietta, 1 act 

10. Snapping Turtles, duologue, 1 act. 

26. Society, comedy, 3 acts 

78. Special Performances, farce, 1 act. 
31. Taming a Tiger, farce, 1 act ^ 

150. Tell-Tale Heart, comedietta, 1 act.. 1 
120. Tempest in a Teapot, comedy, 1 act. 2 
146. There's no Smoke Without Fire, 

comedietta, 1 act 1 

83. Thrice Married, personation piece, 

lact 6 

42. Time and the Hour, drama, 3 acts. . 7 

27. Time and Tide, drama, 3 acts and 

prologue .■ 7 

133. Timothy to the Rescue, farce, 1 act. 4 
153. 'Tis Better to Live than to Die, 

farce, 1 act 2 

134. Tompkins the Troubadour, farce, 1 3 
2.9. Turning the Tables, farce, 1 act 5 

168. Tweedie's Rights, comedy, 2 acts.. 4 

126. Twice Killed, farce, 1 act 6 

56. Two Gay Deceivers, farce, 1 act 3 

123. Two Polts, farce, 1 act 4 

198. Twin Sisters (The), comic operetta, 

lact 3 

162. Uncle's Will, comedietta, 1 act..... 2 
106. Up for the Cattle Sliow, farce, 1 act. 6 
81. Vandyke Brown, farce, 1 act 3 

124. Volunteei" Review, farce, 1 act 6 

91. Walpole, comedy, 3 acts 7 

118. Wanted, a Young Lady, farce, 1 act. 3 

44. War to the Knife, comedy, 3 acts. . . 5 4 
105. Which ofthe Two? comedietta, lact 2 10 

98. Who is Who? farce, 1 act 3 2 

12. Widow Hunt, comedy, 3 acts 4 4 

5. William Tell with a Vengeance, 

burlesque 8 2 

136. Woman in Red, drama, 3 acts and 

prologue 6 

161. Woman's Vows and Mason's Oaths, 

4 acts 10 4 

11. Woodcock's Little Game, farce, 2 4 4 
54. Young Collegian (Cantab.), farce, 13 3 

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AHATEM Al PARLOR THEATBmS . 

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